Showing posts from 2009

All I Want For Christmas is...

I would like to wish you all a very merry holiday season.
I,myself,find it hard to believe that it is Christmas.The days to me seem to go by so fast.I guess that is because I am trying to live a long life,in the short life I have been given.
This time of year is hard on everybody.There are so many extra tasks that need to be done.It is even more tense on those that do not feel very well.
I am the type of person who,no matter how I have felt,have always managed to put and keep a smile on my face.I am one to not let anyone know that I am in pain.This year I am finding that that is getting a little more difficult to do.
I have been to the malls a few times,but the walking is really taking my breath away.My Emphysema is getting worse.
I also found out from the brain scan that I had a couple of strokes of the brain.I am told the strokes must have been mild,as I ,Thank God,have not had any major residual affects.I have found though,that my memory has suffered some impairment.I have also noticed …


Hello again.I have wonderful news to report.My six month check up with my lung oncologist was a few days ago As you might remember,I have been so worried the cancer might have spread.I had an xray and the results were;NO RETURN of the Cancer.Next appointment six months.
Thank You all for your prayers and well wishes,they worked again.I am now a 3.5 yr survivor of Lung Cancer.Yahoo!
My third bout of pneumonia is easing now,another round of antibiotics finished.My breathing is still a problem with the emphysema,but I am doing more breathing exercises and it is helping during the trying times.
I have just checked with my worker with my disability payments,and they said I could start a job,and they will continue with my benefits for up to a certain amount of income.I did apply and got a chance for an interview with the Government for a great position.I have to take a test and then they place you accordingly.The position is temporary,for about 2-4 mos.I am not sure how it is going to go,as it…

I am Scared,but not because of Halloween

Hello all!Thank you Sue,and the best of luck in the future, and all the others that left a comment.All of your well wishes and prayers,really make a difference in my life.I really do not have a lot of friends.My husband retired a few years ago,and that is when I got ill.We have always spent most ,in fact all of our time together,so sometimes now it gets a little too quiet.So,Please keep writing,I appreciate it.
I am having such respiratory problems lately.
I am dealing with Pneumonia,again.In fact since May,this is the third time.NOT GOOD!
I have the part of my lung removed,and I have severe Emphysema.I am very frightened that I will be going on oxygen in the very near future.I really am in dire straits.
Last month I could walk around the malls,today,I am having a hard time to even bend over.With the H 1N1 out,I really do not think I want to go to an emergency room,because of all the germs floating around in there.I have all the signs of that flu,and definitely have the horrible aches an…


Welcome everyone.I am guilty of not writing lately.We had our youngest son with us for the summer,so things got a bit crazy around here.We are used to our own space,so it set me back a bit.
To bring you up to date....They did the Brain scan on September 9th.I contacted my GPs receptionist,who said they found something abnormal,but they wanted me to take the contrast dye to be able to focus more on what they found.Well,Here I am almost a month later waiting for another CT scan.The report shows I have or have had an "Infarction" of the brain.Now folks,this means I have had a stroke.Well,I am the most surprised as I am sure I would have shown some residual affects from such.I am so worried now,because what if I am having a stroke,and their delay could cause me death or disability.I know our medical system is busy, but I would think they would give me another scan right away.I am taking baby aspirin for now,and praying that this isn't another year of worry.
If I have had a str…

Lung Cancer and All Those Doctor Visits

This post is just my personal experience on my doctor visits.I have read a lot of clinical information on the net.I have followed clinical research on my cancer..When the doctor told me I had lung cancer,I was on the internet for hours every day.What was really happening with my body?What has caused it to want to die?

I therefore consider myself to have some knowledge of the medical facts with regard to my lung cancer.

I have a non-small cell stage 1.I have had a lobe of my lung successfully removed and I am in my 42nd month of clear check ups.
My Doctor has saved my life,truthfully,a few times in the last 15 years.
He listens to me.
He was able to pick up from the symptoms I gave him and head me off to see a specialist in the required field of my ailment.For example;I found a lump in my breast and within a week ,I had a mammogram,and a biopsy,which Thank God,revealed that it was not cancer.He believed me and he acted on that.One other time,he knew that I was drinking a lot.He suggested I…

TIME;Is it Running Out?

Tomorrow morning I have to have a CT scan to look for a brain tumor.I am very worried about getting the results for this test.

Lately,I have acquired headaches.I guess headaches are pretty common,but I have never really had a problem with them myself.

My waves of nausea,which I have had for four years,are turning into vomiting.I have also been having uncontrolled spasms in my hands and feet.

Three of my oncologists have agreed that the symptoms call for a further review,hence the scan of the brain.

I have read that Brain Cancer is common as a secondary cancer to lung cancer.I suppose it is because they are close to each other.

I have also read that Brain Cancer kills you fast.

One has so many problems dealing with dying physically,and to have the responsibility of putting everything in order so quickly before you die,just throws me.

My God,I have been dealing with dying for 7 years now,and I have complained.I am alive now and I have had that time,so my heart goes out to those that were not g…

My Life Has a Mind

The aches and pains,the agony of not knowing what is coming next.
Cancer really sucks!
The diagnosis of Lung Cancer,Emphysema,Cirrhosis of the Liver,Heart attack,seizures,and diabetes,etc.etc.etc.has really gotten me down mentally as well as physically.
My life really does have a Mind.
My body gets up every morning,and Thank God,I am not attached to IV's or any other supports.I am in my own home.My body is at rest right now
But....I have had so many tests lately,so many scares.
The MRI'S,CT scans,ultra sounds of the heart and abdomen,these tests yield results and it is the results that scare me.
I have terminal lung cancer.The word says it all,doesn't it?
This was a positive journey as far as the physical ailments are concerned.I am still unable to be employed full time,and now can only do my passion and past career part time.
The tests showed that I have had a heart attack in the past.They say it was a silent heart attack.I guess it must have been,because other wise I am sure i wo…

Lung Cancer:So Many Questions??

What happens to us when we are told we are going to die?
Where in the brain,where in the spirit do we go?
Who do we tell first?What plans should we be making?Where do we go from here?
These are just some of the questions I had in my mind,and still do.
Sure there are those few moments,that I am not always concentrating on the answers.
Lately,with the way I have been feeling,the fear is starting to rise in me again.
I had to go to emergency a few days ago.I had a very high blood pressure,almost off the charts.I had pneumonia and was having difficulty breathing.
I explained that I had lung cancer and was being treated for a chest infection.They gave me a chest xray and an EKG.Thank God ,the EKG showed I was not having a heart attack.The chest xray was questionable,even to the doctor.She was unsure what she was seeing in the chest xray,and was not sure if it was the pneumonia,that was going on,or the Lung Cancer,showing up again.
Well,that was a few days ago,so you can imagine how I feel.
I have …

LUNG CANCER:Desperate Times,Desperate Measures

I would like to take you to some emotional and physical aspects on your journey through Lung Cancer.

There are trials and tribulations.This blog is about some of mine,and not necessarily going to be the same as you.

Most of you that visit are living with cancer or know someone who is.Lung Cancer is only one of the cancers out there.Lung Cancer is the leading cause of death .

I had no idea I had lung cancer.Sure,I had been a smoker for a number of years and I had a bad cough,but even then,it just never occurred to me.I guess I thought that I was too young to die and that it only happened to older people.I had also been given a diagnosis of pneumonia for the prior three months.

I didn't cry when the surgeon told me.I just listened to my options.I decided within minutes that I would have the surgery to remove a 2" tumor from my lung.

I was at the hospital two weeks later on an operating table.The surgeon said my odds were not that great to make the operation,as I had high blood press…

I Cried because I had no shoes,until....


Yes,I have been crying on here for three years now.I have been reading a lot of lung cancer blogs because it makes me feel like I am not the only one dealing with this disease.I was reading a story about a lady named "Doreen',and she writes a beautiful story.I had no idea how well off I was compared to her and her families problem, and so many others,that are in worse shape than me.

I realise now that some people couldn't even type on here to be able to tell their side of things.

You can read "Dor 's " blogs at
There are lots of great stories there on all types of cancers.
she is listed under lung cancer and her blog is listed as lung cancer survivor 06.
Going back to the title of this story.
I cried because I had no shoes,until I saw a man with no feet.

I will change the subject now and would like to tell you that the CT of my Heart came back NORMAL.
I am so happy about that.I had to kind of laugh though when the heart doct…

There is a Silver Lining

Hello everyone.
I have written many posts on here over the last three years.
I have shared with you my trials and my tribulations through "Lung Cancer"Cirrhosis of the Liver" and much more.
I hope that I helped some of you with knowing that others go through some of the same emotions as you do.
Cancer of any kind is so cruel in so many ways.It affects so many others than the patient.
I have not written so much on this blog about all the physical aspects of lung cancer.I do not profess the knowledge to do that.There are so many other wonderful sites that provide that information.
I started this blog with a positive attitude.I know I have had great concerns over the last few months,and I feel like I am whining.
Besides,It saves my husband from having to listen to it.
All Kidding aside,I have been to a lot of doctors and have endured many tests lately.
But in keeping with my "believe" theme of this blog,and of this disease I must tell you some good things.

Lying in Wait

Thank You all for your concerns and well wishes.

I saw my lung doctor last week.I had a chest xray,and Thank God,the cancer growth has NOT returned on my lung.He felt my neck ,and the lymph nodes area.He noticed that the lymph nodes were swollen,but didnt seem concerned at this point.

That is wonderful news.

I think I mentioned in my last

post that I was scheduled for an ultra sound of the heart,also.I had a stress test on the tread mill with all the wires attached to monitor my vitals.I have yet to receive the results on that test.I have apparently had a heart attack in the past,so they say.I think I would have remembered,but they say it must have been a "silent" heart attack,so that is why they are checking me out.

I developed a swollen face a month ago ,as well,and had all my doctors quite concerned.The reason they were concerned was that a swollen face with lung cancer can be something called"superior vena cara obstuction".That is when the lung cancer grows and caus…

Lung Cancer: The beginning,again

Another four month check up coming.This appointment is for the surgeon who did my lung operation.
Here we go again.I really haven't had much of a break from all the doctors the last few months,so this is very tiring.
I will have a chest xray,again,then he will put it in the light,and then tell me whether or not the cancer has returned,or gone on to stage 2.
This appointment is the worst.I find myself in the waiting room making so many promises to myself.I sit there thinking of all the things I meant to do,four months ago.I wonder if I will get another chance.
I am calling this post the beginning again,as it is always like the first time.
When you get a diagnosis of Cancer,your world stands still for what seems like forever.You will come back to reality pretty fast though,because there will be so many decisions you will have to make.
Depending on whether you had the blessing to get an early diagnosis,you might have to decide along with your doctor to have surgery or chemo.
I was able t…

Looking for Hope?

Welcome again to everyone.
I am aware that most of my visitors are going through lung cancer,or know someone who is.You are the ones that I write this blog for.
Three years ago,I went to the internet for some answers,many answers.
When you are diagnosed with"Lung Cancer" or any possibly fatal disease,most of us just want to know.

When they told me I had cancer,I went blank.You never think it will happen to you,so most of the time we are not prepared.
I went to the computer and typed in lung cancer,and lo and behold,there were others that were going through this.I just felt so much better.
My point on this post is just to say that I am not an authority on lung cancer,but I would like to say that I will continue to write about the emotional part of all this and hope that you to will read my previous posts,and that you too will come to Believe.



Fatal Diagnosis :Letting it BE!

More tests ahead of me.

Good news is that the scare of "pancreatic" cancer,mentioned in my last post,was NOT found by the MRI test.The doctors other diagnosis of liver cancer was also ruled out.That is Great.The three weeks of wondering about those two fatal diseases put me in a daze.I know that Pancreatic cancer kills you fast.I started to look at life in minutes and hours.

Since the doctors have ruled out those two diseases they remain stumped as to a lot of my symptoms.

I still show a rise in the CEA blood test.That is the test they use to determine if a cancer is in you.

The waves of nausea I get,accompianed by the headaches and dizziness for 3 years has them wondering.I have been given all the tests for abdominal conditions,and they also came out negative.

Now the doctor wants me to have a brain CT scan.They think some of my symptoms represent a Brain Tumor.

All of these tests are quite concerning to me.They have told me that there is a risk associated with too many xrays.

In …


Lung Cancer was the first diagnosis.When the surgeon told me that he had to remove part of my lung due to lung cancer,my life passed before me.All I could think about was my loss to my loved ones.I worried how they would get over it.I did not think,"poor me".
The last three years I have spoken on here about all the emotional pain that goes with this.I put my life on hold and went faithfully to every follow up appointment,waiting for the surgeon to tell me that the cancer was gone.
He has never told me that the cancer will not come back but only that I do have a fatal disease and that he is on the ready to go ahead with chemo or radiation,if necessary when he sees me.
I lived my life in four month stages waiting for the final diagnosis of Lung Cancer returning and taking my life for good.
I have been blessed, as most with this disease are not so fortunate to have had this time.
My cancer was caught early by coincidence.
My ekg had showed I had had a heart attack.Upon further i…

Worry is a Waste of Time

Another week of worry. I had to postpone my appointment last week with the liver cancer doctor due to weather.I have had severe vomiting all week and I am counting the hours til I see him.The test is an ERCP.They will stick a long tube down my throat,yuck!,and they will probe around with a camera.Apparently,if and when they find something,they can maybe fix it right then.I understand that they can blast stones they find and also put in stents.I think they can drain excess bile as well.I am not to informed about it yet.

I am so worried.I know I said I would deal with the diagnosis at the time but it is a very good chance that my problem there in my liver,may be worse than the lung cancer.If my liver has developed cancer,that cancer would be considered secondary to the lung cancer.The liver,I think kills you quicker.

My God,I haven't much of a choice,do I?I am praying that I might just have an ulcer,or even kidney stones.That is bad to,but not as bad as finding out the cancer has meta…

Whats Happening Now

Hello my Dear readers.,
The new year is not starting so good for me.
Lung Cancer,Liver Disease,Emphysema,Fibromalgia,and now they want to do a test,an MRCP.This is an image xray to examine my "Bile Duct".
My doctor discovered this after a series of numerous tests.I had been reporting nausea for a few years now,and then when they found the lung cancer,the focus was on that and not such a minimal thing as nausea.
I did keep insisting that maybe my liver,which was damaged with "Cirrhosis" had some of the lung cancer cancer spread to it.
Now I found out yesterday that I might have pancreatic Cancer.
My God!How much can one take?
Will this be the straw that broke this camels back?
I do pride myself on keeping up with my health issues.I know I don't feel well,but I hate to complain because I know there are others that are a lot worse off then me.
I will take the tests ,deal with the results when I know them and let you know.
Thanks for coming back and staying in touch.Please …