Posts

Showing posts from 2007

Symptoms of Concern

I have just been trying to recall when this lung cancer began.
In 2004 I had a bad cough.I coughed for hours and days and weeks.I remember not able to catch my breath in between the gasps.I was diagnosed with pneumonia and given antibiotics.The rest of that year and into 2005,I believe I wasn't coughing anymore,or at least not like that.In October of 2005,I was sent to a heart specialist,as an EKG test showed an irregularity in the graph.He was a good doctor and obviously had saved my life.He believed that the result might not have been a heart attack.He knew that a problem with the lung could also show up as that.He ordered a chest x-ray.He said that the x-ray showed two spots,but that one spot was pneumonia and that we would wait until my pneumonia was over to do a follow up CT scan.
The scan was done on January 30th 2006.My doctor called me in the next day and told me to see this doctor,and with tears in his eyes he wished me the best.I saw a surgeon on February the 15th.He was t…

DEALING with DYING

Lung Cancer seems to be rising. I have had this blog for over a year and the requests for information increases everyday.
I also notice that there are more blogs and a lot more information in the media with regard to "lung Cancer'.
Cancer destroys many people ,not just the one it inflicts.
I read letters from mothers,daughters, sons and grandparents and all the loved ones.I find that the worry they have over the other person really speaks what this disease is all about.It involves everyone.
It sure gets tough "Dealing with Dying"
I always loved challenges,but I never thought I would get through this one.
"I learn a little more everyday,to know what I have to, tomorrow"
They say to"live for the day".
I do try to enjoy every minute,but I am just too busy to stop and think if I am.
I am not always in pain,and then life seems normal.
Nights are a time of solitude for my self.It is then the reality of time sets in and frightens me.
I have an agenda,I plan to kee…

TOUCHING BASE,AGAIN!

Welcome to my corner of the world!Thank You all again for your kind words and blessings.
This is a sort of copy from a few months ago.
I have been getting away from the main point of why I am here writing this.Here,again,is a long story,short.I know a lot of you visitors have been following the events since my diagnosis "lung cancer".
I would like to kind of start again for those of you who are looking for something more with regard to this deadly disease.
I wanted this blog to be informational,I did not want it to be whining.
I will not be able to tell you the physical aspects,as I am not a doctor.I do hope I can help with some of the mental anxieties that you will encounter .It has been an ongoing situation for me since 2002.
I have also had many years in the field of counselling and consultations with people in crisis in their lives.
I unfortunately,Do Not follow my own advice at times.,Though I am sure I am not the only one.
My lung operation was required as I had a tumor on the…

LUNG CANCER;Time is of the Essence!

This thought of death looming over me,is starting to drive me mad.
Do I have time to do all the things that I thought I would like to do?
Does it matter?
My dad used to tell me to make a five year plan.I wish I had listened.He passed away in 2002,but just before he did,he said my plans should be made six months.I laughed,thinking I had all the time in the world.
Now I feel like I am running out of "TIME ".
I know I am my own worst enemy at times.I find myself on line trying to find all the clinical information about my "lung cancer',and emphysema,and cirrhosis.
I want to stay informed.That is a good thing.
I have found though that " THOUGHTS" are the key to this diagnosis.
I have always been optimistic.I still am.I do however feel that I must be realistic.
I think I might just have to leave it up to the doctors to figure out the physical aspects.
Now the question is;How do I spend my time?
Maybe it is not about ME.
I am starting to think that perhaps leaving the peopl…

COMING UP FOR AIR,AGAIN!

Doctors appointment went well.Thank you all for your blessings and concerns.
Special Thanks to Karen at http://www.copdandsomuchmore.com .
It is a great site with a lot of personal looks on lung diseases.
My cancer still remains at Stage1.Next appoitnment in September,so I can exhale for awhile now.
I did it again.I made promises to myself as I sat in the doctors waiting room,waiting for the x-ray.Now I think I will make a promise never to make a promise.
Second chances are a blessing.Nine chances are a miracle.
I have written about all the bullets I have dodged,in my last posts.I will recap.
1.1996-I was schedules for breast surgery.An angel came in the form of the doctor.She decided she would take a look for herself and discovered that there were six cysts causing the lump and she aspirated them.I walked out an hour later,in tact.
2.1999.I woke up one morning and thought I had had a stroke.I went to the emergency and they diagnosed"Bells Palsy'.It is a very crippling disease.I w…

FIGHTING THE ODDS

I have had Lung Cancer for 15 months,and for now I am fighting the odds.The problem is that dying is the favorite and a miracle of a cure is the long shot.I am not saying that miracles don"t happen,but everyday that passes is one against time for me.Time stops for noone.
How do I plan to die,when my mind is programmed to live?
I think I will just keep on living with a possitive attitude and do everything I want to do.I have spent the last year waiting for every doctor appointment to see how long I have left.
It has all been such Wasted Time.
When I die I will be dead and not be able to do the things I can accomplish now.
I am truly blessed at my stage of lung cancer,and they were able to remove the 2 inch tumor from the lobe of my lung.I also have emphysema,but through all this I do not have oxygen.I am still young enough and can get around.
I am now starting to actually make some future plans.I am not ignorant of this disease,therefore I must make plans with in a reasonable time.
I am …

IT ONLY HURTS WHEN I BREATHE

I am spiritually doing well.My breathing though is getting a bit worse.I must mention that with a part of my lung gone and severe "emphysema",I didn't expect much less.I am not on oxygen as of yet and I am very Thankful for that.
Time seems to be moving so fast,and I am not moving quick enough to keep up it seems.
I will see my surgeon on May 30th,and again the anxiety to see if and where the cancer has come back.
I have "cirrhosis" of the liver ,and I am aware that the cancer of my lung can spread to my other organs.I have regular liver tests,but the last few months the counts are higher than normal.My doctor has warned me that The Liver could develop cancer cells.
It is hard to deal with dying with lung cancer,but to have to think about a liver transplant at this stage of the game is the real breaker of my mind and heart.
I have had many miracles in my past.I have seen the light at the tunnel before.I had a "Grand Mal" seizure in 2002.I heard the nurse c…

A SMOKER with LUNG CANCER

Smoking has been the cause of my demise.Forty-Three years of abuse.I should have figured when I had a cough that kept lasting 4 years ago,that I could be in trouble.I guess I was a typical addict and kept finding excuses.
I now have lung cancer,and emphysema.
When I smoked I did not eat.I actually weighed 89 lbs at one time.When I smoked I drank a lot of coffee,another drug that is questionable.When I smoked I sat,another quick way to die ,as no exercise!
When I smoked I stunk!Our social life even diminished,as anyone that did not smoke did not want to spend an evening with us inhaling ours.
Quitting Smoking is also the hardest thing,and drug to stop.
They have drug rehabs for Heroin,methedrine and alcohol,and insanity.They do not have quit smoking rehabs as far as I know.
Our government collects the taxes on our smokes and then will not even hold themselves accountable to cover the costs of quitting.
I will agree that the pictures that are required on cigarette packages make one think a bit…

COMING UP FOR AIR

The title says it all really.This year has found me in a constant gasp.I know there is more to come,healthwise, with my lung cancer.
I want to just forget about all of my problems now,and like spring,I want to come anew.
The "law of attraction " has been my life lately.
It has been five years of worrying about the next day in a bad way.I am changing my thoughts as I write this.
I am one very blessed,lucky person.I look fine,I only have the one scar from the lung operation and I can walk and talk.I feel that with a greater pronounciation of What I can do, instead of What I can not,will be the best way to go from here.
My "Emphysema" is still a problem.I really havent been seen by a specialist for that.I will get to that after I go out and have some fun!
"My first breath" was the name of this blog when I started writing this a year ago.I have had many breaths since,that I never thought I would have.
I am one of the very few,who have made it this far after a lung c…

DIAGNOSIS:LUNG CANCER

The four month wait is over.I saw my surgeon last Wednesday.
There is no return of the"CANCER".I am still at stage 1,or so I believe.
My heart was pounding as I waited for the x-ray results.
I tell you,I went through everybody and everything in my life that day and the days leading up to the appointment.I could actually feel my heart in my stomach.I was so happy to hear that the x-ray looked good that I almost ran out of the room.I forgot to even ask any questions.I am just starting to relax a little now,I think I was in shock.

It has been almost a year since they diagnosed me with"Lung Cancer".I have since had the "lobectomy" to remove a tumor, as well as the right lobe of my lung.I was very fortunate to have had the CT scan and it was detected on time.I do know that some cancers have progressed too far by time of detection and therefore are not able to be surgically repaired.
I am one of the fortunate.I can say that now,as I recall my doubts this last year.
I…

To DIE with DIGNITY

I see "The Surgeon" that is dealing with my "Lung Cancer"on January 31st.He will take an x-ray of my lung and tell me if my Cancer has spread.I think I already know the answer.
I am afraid this time.I feel so very tired.I do not know if this is caused by my lungs,but it must be.
I still have my positive attitude,but I am not senseless regarding the way that I feel physically.
I had good days and bad days.I now have mostly bad days.
I have "emphysema".I am having more trouble getting and keeping my breath lately.
I Thank God that I am not on oxygen,yet.
I have a Fatal Disease!The worst part of this,is the not knowing.I can read information on my type of cancer and through a bit of easy math,I can roughly figure out when I will die.
It may sound easy,but it is against the human spirit to accept this fact.
If what I read and hear about "Lung Cancer' is true,then I will die very soon.If I talked my mind into believing this,I will die sooner.
What if he tells …