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Sunday, April 08, 2007

IT ONLY HURTS WHEN I BREATHE

I am spiritually doing well.My breathing though is getting a bit worse.I must mention that with a part of my lung gone and severe "emphysema",I didn't expect much less.I am not on oxygen as of yet and I am very Thankful for that.
Time seems to be moving so fast,and I am not moving quick enough to keep up it seems.
I will see my surgeon on May 30th,and again the anxiety to see if and where the cancer has come back.
I have "cirrhosis" of the liver ,and I am aware that the cancer of my lung can spread to my other organs.I have regular liver tests,but the last few months the counts are higher than normal.My doctor has warned me that The Liver could develop cancer cells.
It is hard to deal with dying with lung cancer,but to have to think about a liver transplant at this stage of the game is the real breaker of my mind and heart.
I have had many miracles in my past.I have seen the light at the tunnel before.I had a "Grand Mal" seizure in 2002.I heard the nurse call code"blue".I felt myself going but thought about getting back,and I did.
I was suspected of breast cancer twice in the last ten years,with the last scare being a year ago.They did the breast biopsy 3 weeks after I had my lobe of my lung removed.It has all been pretty scary.
I say in my "bio " that I am a lucky and very blessed person.
I know this,but I still have days that are sad.
I really do try not to dwell on the facts of this untimely diagnosis,and still make plans for my future,as if I will live to a ripe old age.
I asked a question on "Live Q&A" last month.I asked if I had a second chance with lung cancer.I was told,No,You will die.
I was upset by that,though it is the truth.I want to believe that as long as I have faith,I will beat the odds against me.
Thank You for all your support through these times,you are all my angels.
It does hurt a bit when I breathe,but I am still breathing!

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