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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

TERMINAL DIAGNOSIS:FACING the FACTS

Hello,Welcome to my blog on lung cancer,and other diseases that wreak havoc with ones' body and mind.

I have written lately of all the diagnostic tests that we have to determine our physical dilemmas.The tests that take a long time to wait for to do,and sometimes too long to get the results.

I really am fed up with all the tests,but I can tell you,the waiting is bad and unfortunately the results can be worse.

Today I wait for my phone to ring to tell me the results of an MRI that was done on my abdomen.They are looking for Pancreatic Cancer,Liver Cancer,kidney stones,or any other abnormality they can find.

Yes,Just wonderful isn't it.Now is the part where I tell myself that everything will be okay.If I hear the phone ring,I know my heart will stop for a minute,as I think they wouldn't call if all was alright.If the call doesn't come today,I will still start thinking about what will happen when it does.

Then it will be time to face the facts.

I get these scares all the time.I deal with the results all the time.I will admit though ,I have never had serious decisions to make,as some people do.I did of course choose to have the right lobe of my lung removed to prevent the cancer from spreading,and that was a great decision.

I have never had to be told I needed chemo.I have never been told I had to make a choice to save my life,by losing something else.Yes,I have been blessed.

But I do know that when I was told I had three months to live,I went into shock for quite awhile,and was unable to make any decisions.I was told that in 2002,and in that case,I am glad I kept on believing.

There is not much we can do when the diagnosis is terminal.The doctors can fix us physically,and hopefully with family support we can get through it with a little less pain.
I do believe "peace" is an inner thought and feeling.
I have laid in pain with my gritted teeth,but I have allowed my mind to think pleasant thoughts,and that really helps take me away for awhile.
I write this blog,not as a person who is really suffering.I read other blogs and there are so many more cancer patients that are terminal.I have read of their great heroism's,and accomplishments in their lives.
I speak as a typical patient,anxiously awaiting the next step,on this road of self discovery,Cancer.
There are so many cancers and not many cures.
You might like to read others blogs at
http://beingcancer.net

I have lung cancer,and maybe a couple of other cancers,but it doesnt matter the name of the disease,as it will affect most everyone the same.

Hoping to end on a happier note next post.
Til then remember

DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A New Year Begins

Welcome.I would like to wish all of you a very Healthy,Happy New Year.

I also would at this time express my condolences to the people of Haiti,and all the loved ones this catastrophe has affected.

I find myself hesitating to write this post of my worries and troubles,as I almost feel that I have no right to complain,when others have so much more to worry about.

I managed to have a good safe Christmas with family this year.I did have a scare and was taken by ambulance to a hospital.My blood pressure was so high I was almost convulsing.I was given an EKG,and it was determined that I was not in immediate danger.I was released the next day,with plans to see an internal medicine doctor.They said that with the continuous hypertension the last year ,they had to do some tests to see why I have the high blood pressure.I am going for an MRI today ,of the abdomen which will see the kidneys,liver,pancreas and stomach.There could be a blockage,or an artery that is being pinched off.

I hate that I am starting this New Year with all these tests again.

I am thankful though that with all my problems,there have been no real negative results.

I have lung cancer,emphysema,cirrhosis of the liver,fibromalgia and apparently my tests have revealed I had a silent heart attack and recently the brain scan showed I had a stroke.It all seems so unreal to believe that one person can survive all those ordeals and still go on.I hope that I am living proof,that with faith and a positive attitude ,we can work wonders.

I also find it hard to believe how good I actually feel.I am not on oxygen for the emphysema.My lung cancer is still,after three years at stage1,and there has been no more growths in that area.I practise posture exercises for my fibromalgia,and get relief from the application of heat.I cant say I can complain too much.I do wish to find out what makes me feel unwell,so I have a lot of specialists and tests to get to the heart of the matter,before it is too late.
The doctors at the hospital have given me a scare a few times lately.They do not realise at first that I have a lobe missing on my right lung,so when they listen with the stethoscope,they listen again.One nurse said I should listen to my lungs,and I did.They are all crackly,and really congested.I am supposing that with the emphysema,it is making it worse.
We are having great weather up north here in Canada for this time of year.I am really looking forward to getting out in the fresh air more.
Thank You all again for your comments.I apologize for the late post,but I have had a lot on my plate.This last seven days,I have been at a doctor five times.This last month I was in the emergency three times.I am hoping now to enjoy the time I have til the results from the MRI come in.I am getting mentally prepared for the diagnosis.This is the second time they have tested me for pancreatic cancer and liver cancer.Believe me,the wait for these results are actually worse than all those tests.You try to see yourself now,and then you have to try to imagine the consequences of what your future could be like.The diagnosis part is the worst.
I will let you all know this week when I find out the results.
Also,I would like to mention that there are other diseases that effect the lungs.It is not just smoking.It is a disease called"MESOTHELIOMA".It is caused by a gene mutation,and affects the lining covering the lungs.If you have concerns regarding this disease,you might want to find some information at http://mesothelioma.johnsonlawgroup.com.

http://mesothelioma.johnsonlawgroup.com.
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe