Custom Search

Thursday, February 17, 2011

NOT READY TO LAY DOWN AND DIE!

Some good news.The doctor said that the artery supply to my one good kidney is okay.They will not have to do the invasive surgery now.I am so relieved.
I am actually back to original diagnosis,which had said that I could live on one kidney.
I am sure going to have to make some real life changes to stay on top of this one.
It sure is a little off my plate right now,and I am so grateful.
My husband hugged me when we got the news.I felt that when I was busy worried about me dying,I had forgotten about his feelings on my loss.
I also surely know that for sure God has a reason for keeping me well.
For those of you that have read my posts over the last five years know about all my close calls.Death has been at my doorstep many times.I have prayed and I have shared my stories with you and you have sent me well wishes.I believe all of that has helped with all of these terminal illnesses.
I will still see a vascular surgeon,but the need is not at an urgent stage.
I hope not to have any doctor appointments for awhile,and look forward to moving on.
We have had a lot of financial difficulty over this the last few years.
When I got the lung cancer diagnosis my husband left work to care for me.The money has since run out,so we both have to find work.It will be a slow go,as we are both in our sixties.I figure I could start with a few hours a week.I can still walk and talk and I am still breathing,so I am ready to give it a go.
I sure am not yet ready to lay down and die.
So everyone just a short post to keep you up to date.
so remember til next time

DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe

Sunday, February 06, 2011

RUNNING SCARED

Welcome everyone.Once again,Thank You all for your thoughts and prayers.
I am about to set on a new voyage.My diagnostic tests are in with regard to the loss of a kidney and the about to be,loss of the other kidney.
I have now been told that I will have to have vascular surgery to open up an artery that is blocked in the renal area.They have also suggested that I might have to have a kidney transplant.I have been told that without the surgery,I will be on dialysis for the rest of my life.
I am sure that this is a situation that is faced by many.I am just amazed at why it is happening to me.
I have been dealing with lung cancer,emphysema,heart attack and two strokes.I never knew anything was even wrong with my kidneys,when this all began.
It has been a year now since they first discovered that I lost my right kidney.It is only now,a year later that they are about to get around to saving my only kidney and my life.
I am scared,and I feel like running.
It is not the operation itself that I am afraid of.It is the fact that my whole body is so wrecked,I am afraid that the operation itself is very risky.
The doctors tell me it is a do or die situation.They say I am a "ticking time bomb".
I say that it is much more difficult to face this with the knowledge of death looming.
There is always a risk with anesthesia,but with my high blood pressure and bad heart and lungs,the doctors themselves do not place much faith.
Well,Well,Well,.Here I am the positive "Believe",losing faith?
I still want to believe that all will be well,but the reality must play a part in this.I will go into the operation with expectations of coming out,but I will also go in prepared,not to come out.
I feel that to worry about it now,will waste precious time.My friends say that I am probably really stressed about it,but what good does that do.
I know that I will not choose dialysis.
I also know that after this operation I will be facing possible return of my lung cancer.I might be on chemo.I also know that I am fighting the odds and that I will soon have to be on oxygen.
It is not a pretty picture folks.
You have to be really strong to still keep smiling,and move on everyday.
I will not let myself lose faith,nor will I refuse any treatment that could save my life.
Yes,I am scared,but I guess even though I want to run,I won't.
Final test is this week and operation may be very soon this month.I will try to keep you posted.
so,Remember,til next time

DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe