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Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Feeling like I'm Fixing to Die

Hello everyone.It has been awhile since my last post,sorry.The fact is I have had no more news on my kidney failure,liver or lung cancer.I am again caught up in the system.My new doctor wants to start all over again.She thinks that perhaps my liver might have caused my kidney to fail.My right kidney is completely occluded at this point.I have already had the two MRI's that have determined what is going on,they just do not know why.We do know that the kidneys were damaged by "Hypertension",which is high blood pressure.I have been in and out of emergency rooms for 1.5 years now.When I went there I was checked for a heart attack and released.I wasn't given any follow up or information with regard to this causing kidney failure.I know now why they call high blood pressure the silent killer.I also have a cirrhosis of the liver,which is now causing even greater problems.They have me scheduled now for an ultrasound of the liver.You know,through all this,I have never been given anything to cure,help,or stop my pains or my worries.Sometimes I feel like I am always being diagnosed and the answers are not coming.Maybe no news is good news?
I am in a mode now to move on.I love the autumn.It is my new year.I want to continue to have passions.I want to exercise,eat healthier and really try to not believe that my condition is Fatal.I want to believe that there will be a cure.I want to believe that they made the wrong diagnosis.But....I also want to,and need to stay real,although real isn't as much fun.
The lung cancer on my right lung,was at stage 1 five months ago.I will see my doctor with regard to that in November.I will not be surprised by a disappointing result.I have begun coughing that familiar cough again lately.I also have emphysema,so I guess they are both acting up.
Oh well,When it is all said and done at the end of the day,at least I am still here to write about it.
I do not write this blog to depress you,so take something good from this,and remember....

Don't Stop Believing!

Believe