Showing posts from August, 2009

My Life Has a Mind

The aches and pains,the agony of not knowing what is coming next.
Cancer really sucks!
The diagnosis of Lung Cancer,Emphysema,Cirrhosis of the Liver,Heart attack,seizures,and diabetes,etc.etc.etc.has really gotten me down mentally as well as physically.
My life really does have a Mind.
My body gets up every morning,and Thank God,I am not attached to IV's or any other supports.I am in my own home.My body is at rest right now
But....I have had so many tests lately,so many scares.
The MRI'S,CT scans,ultra sounds of the heart and abdomen,these tests yield results and it is the results that scare me.
I have terminal lung cancer.The word says it all,doesn't it?
This was a positive journey as far as the physical ailments are concerned.I am still unable to be employed full time,and now can only do my passion and past career part time.
The tests showed that I have had a heart attack in the past.They say it was a silent heart attack.I guess it must have been,because other wise I am sure i wo…

Lung Cancer:So Many Questions??

What happens to us when we are told we are going to die?
Where in the brain,where in the spirit do we go?
Who do we tell first?What plans should we be making?Where do we go from here?
These are just some of the questions I had in my mind,and still do.
Sure there are those few moments,that I am not always concentrating on the answers.
Lately,with the way I have been feeling,the fear is starting to rise in me again.
I had to go to emergency a few days ago.I had a very high blood pressure,almost off the charts.I had pneumonia and was having difficulty breathing.
I explained that I had lung cancer and was being treated for a chest infection.They gave me a chest xray and an EKG.Thank God ,the EKG showed I was not having a heart attack.The chest xray was questionable,even to the doctor.She was unsure what she was seeing in the chest xray,and was not sure if it was the pneumonia,that was going on,or the Lung Cancer,showing up again.
Well,that was a few days ago,so you can imagine how I feel.
I have …