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Sunday, June 27, 2010

FATAL DIAGNOSIS:Not Dealing with Dying.


Hello all.I have the test results back.

Not only am I dying,but I am dying soon.

I now have to ask myself the question.How do I feel about actually dying.

I'll tell you.

I am already dead in my mind.I cannot let it all sink in right now.I guess I just don"t want to accept it.

Yes ,Folks,my results from the kidney scan revealed that I have lost my right kidney and my left one is partially blocked.

My lung cancer is back with suspicious findings.My,Oh,My.

I have written before about how many times I have beat the odds on death.

I have also been truly blessed and have not been short of many miracles.

I have lived with emphysema,and have,so far,not had to use oxygen.I am a four and a half year survivor of lung cancer.I should have died in 2002,with cirrhosis of the liver.My liver regenerated,though I still have the disease.I should have been disfigured from "Bells Palsy",but only a minor facial affect.I have had a stroke and two heart attacks.I am here writing this now.

That was and is the past.The present holds for me the fact that my kidneys are failing.It is a matter of when,and mostly how.The doctors say that it will be a stoke or a heart attack most likely.

WOW!What a plateful I have now.

I am however known for my positive attitude on here and will try to remain so.

My name,Believe,is being put to the test.

I will try to keep a smile on my face,so....

Til next time remember



Saturday, June 05, 2010

Diagnosis:Lung Cancer:Looking Back

It was just over four years ago that I was diagnosed with lung cancer.Lately,I have been trying to recall what led up to that.
I remember the coughing.It was an uncontrollable cough.For five months I was treated for pneumonia with antibiotics.I finally realised that this was more serious,and my doctor had a CT scan done in January 06.They removed a two inch tumor from the lobe of my right lung two weeks later.I had stage 1 lung cancer of the lung.
My operation was very invasive,leaving me alive,but with a twelve inch scar,and a part of my body missing.
There was no choice,and no other option.It was the right decision.I would not be here had they not caught it on time.I also credit good communication with my doctors for the quickness in which they reacted.
I wasn't in any real pain,before they found the cancer.I guess when I look at photos from then though,I see that I was haggard looking,and very tired.
Now ,all this time later,I actually feel worse than before.My emphysema has ,of course worsened since the operation.The doctor has found what looks like a return of something on my lung again.He has ordered more tests.He doesn't think my odds are very good for going under for surgery,so he is speaking about chemo or radiation.
That is so scary for me.I think I will put up with the pain and do a lot of praying,because I hear chemo is not so fun.Maybe I should call Dr.Krevokian.Just kidding.I will do what ever the doctors say,to keep on living.I am just being given some challenges now,and I have faced many before.I will be alright,and maybe even learn along the way.
All my bad worries and fears are in the future.It is the very near future, but today,I will enjoy what I have ,now.
I have been writing on here for over four years.I know there are those of you who follow my story,but I am attracting new readers who probably do not know what I am talking about in my posts.I will talk more about the physical effects of the lung cancer,and most of all the toll it takes on so many folks involved.I want to go back and let you newbies maybe release some of your fears after a diagnosis,or at least understand some of your options
I hope I can help,someway.

So remember til next time