Monday, September 07, 2020

THANKFUL

 Welcome my friends,

I have not posted for awhile due to a lot of varied emotions.

I have been writing this blog since 2006,my first diagnosis of cancer.

I am so blessed and thankful to be here to share my journey with you.

I hope you can have faith and hope as you go through your cancer journey as well.

I am still at end stage adenocarcinoma.I was diagnosed for this metastic cancer in 2015,and was told to go home,as they could not give me radiation or chemotherapy,as my system was already compromised.

It is August 2020,and after a lengthy stay at an ICU,in february to march,6wks,for influenza,and pneumonia,I am about to deal with another ct scan and oncologist report in a week.

The flu took a lot out of me,and my frailness shows.

My oncoligist told me two months ago that he would consider chemo therapy,and I should think about my options.

I tried to,but  I cant seem to consentrate on the unknown.

I am already comprimised,and afraid I will feel worse,after such treatments.

I am however,not the only one affected by my decision.I must consider my families feelings.

I know that many of you have had to face that decision,and there for ,I am asking if you could help me,please write.

I need to keep my faith and


Don't stop Believing!


BELIEVE




Tuesday, May 07, 2019

Blessed

welcome.It is a blessing to be here with you today.
I will begin from the last post .It has been awhile since I posted and hope I can catch you up.
My oncologist,for my terminal Andocarcinoma,has written his opinion.He now states that the average life of this cancer is 15 months.I was diagnosed with no treatment available,a DNR,Do not resusitate order April 2016.
I did not do anything different,I had given up,but I kept on believing.
I was motivated by spirit,though my body has been ill .
I really cant explain,but again,I am a Blessing!
On March 16th 2019,this year,I was told my aorta,had an abdominal aneurysm.It was sure a surprise to hear from my heart doctor that they can Not do anything,to go home and enjoy any minute.
The first diagnosis that I wrote about was in 2006,it was lung cancer.They removed a lobe of my lung then.On November 2015 the xray of my chest found this crippling,death sentence cancer.
My God,I cant explain it.The doctors had agreed in January that my cancer survival was above normal,and that I could have  a year or so.Well,as Blessed as I was,this latest heart thing,is really scaring me.
I am tired,not on oxygen yet,but have lost 20lbs.I weigh 97 lbs,from120 or so.
I miss socailizing,I miss purpose,but Now,I think my journey forward will be to be me,and accept that I am meant to be here for that purpose,and that reason.so everybody....

Don't Stop Believing!

Believe

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Am I Living or Dying?

Welcome back!
Just a catch up to new comers.This journey was started in 2006.I had a removal of a lobe in my lung where they found a 2cm cancer tumor.Lots of that info can be found on my 120 posts.You were my journal,my way to get out my feelings,and I know from your comments you appreciated me as well.
Now,I am on a different journey,and I would like to share.
November 2015,after an xray,pet scan,and surgery to take samples from my lung,I was told I had Terminal stage 4 Andocarcinoma,and it had metastisised to my lymph nodes.It was incurable,and I would have 4 to 9 months.
The Dr. spent 15 minutes with me,and said.We want you to have a quality of life."Your health is not good and radiation,and/or chemo could kill you"Wow!It is now 28 months later,and I am here,or am I.
I received a letter after my last scan May 10th/2017,that read.
"Biopsy proven Adenocarcinom subcarinal tumor has resolved itself.DESPITE NO THERAPY".
They were in shock,I had no medications,and actually no doctor after that.They will see me every six months and petform another scan in Decem
ber.
Now,what happened.I told the dr. that I Believed,and had many prayers.
So,it brings up another post I will write soon.Should we be told when we are going to die?
I never crawled up on the couch,I never cried,(honest),and continued to make plans for the future.But,But,But,I never really came back.I stayed tired,lost weight,I am 90 lbs,5ft,and just turned 67.
They said to have a quality of life,but I have kind of been bed ridden of late.I should be celebrating but lately,I have gotten depressed,and I know why.
I think I have begun to not see a purpose.
I have a husband and three boys,and a grandson.
How can I say hello,connect,when I have to say good bye.
I recorded my dr. on our first visit.He said noone has ever survived,the cancer was INCURABLE.NOW,maybe you can understand the title.
This has been the hardest as my family has not seen me ill,so they didnt speak to me much about it.I also never made plans.I had a paper on my fridge.It was a DNR,(do not resusitate order)I think I really still dont know,Am I Living or Dying???
I would appreciate your views on this.
Its a good news story now,but how can the best of the cancer care be so wrong???
I am grateful everyday.I just regret not having money,or energy to enjoy.I am a miracle,as mentioned in my last post,but I feel like I am wasting these precious moments,just looking out my window.
There is nothing wrong with me.I do my personal consulting work,I have my arms,legs.I am the same now and during the cancer.There are a lot of real issues,but,I have been so blessed.
Those of you who are suffering ,I will be there soon.Doctors cant believe this.
At first 6 visits they said the tumor appeared to be shrinking,but said it was probably just because the xray was on the wrong angle.
All I can say now,is
Whats up Doc?
Leaving this rambling post on a good note.
So Remember

KEEP ON BELIEVING!
Believe.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Miracles Do Happen,Again

Welcome,my faithful friends.
I have amazing news.
I have just gone through the terminal cancer.
I have had faith,prayers,and I believed.
On May 10th,The doctors report that the 2cm tumor has resolved,despite no therapy.
The doctors have not seen this.They will do another scan in November.
I have been Blessed!
Sorry for the lack of posts,but I am back.
I want to tell you to Never,ever,give up.
I believe God has a reason to allow me to move on.
I can tell you though,its tough to Live,when you are told there is no hope.
Financially,its been tough,but I am ready to begin my Life again.
I wanted to share this news,and offer my prayers to all of you,and your loved ones.
Prayers,saved me!

May God Bless all of you who have followed me and sent your prayers.

So Remember...

Don't Stop Believing

Believe

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The Death Sentence

Welcome,my faithful friends.
I am so grateful to be writing this post to you.
I was told by the doctors,all of them,that I would pass,by December 5th.
Please,don't ask about when,just have now.
For you first time readers,a bit of a catch up on the last year.
My first diagnosis of lung cancer was 2006.I had a lobe removed in one lung and carried on,without recurrence until 2013.I started all the symptoms again,coughing,tired,breathless.
It wasn't til November last yr. That I got a chest scan that revealed a 2cm.tumor on my wind pipe.It is on the "cardina",which is a lymph node..
My diagnosis is "Adeno Carcinoma with lymph node involvement"
The oncologists told me they could not give therapy.Radiation could kill me,but surely put me on oxygen.
The chemo doctor had the same opinion.
There is no cure or hope for me.
I was sent home to die.I have no palliative care,can't afford is,so my husband,who has his own issues helps me.
I have a Do Not Recusicate order,and just told that I will probably stop breathing,but call 911,when I think it's time.
What a horrible situation.Sent home to die.I haven't seen a doctor,no blood tests,no one examining me,just some pain meds.
Well,You know me.I am having a hard time with this,even though it's true.
I still Believe,I will live awhile longer.
I am in some pain,but My spirit is good.I have equal good and bad days,and I pray a lot.
Thanks to all of you,friends,and family,maybe we can set a precedent!
Then,in reality,this might be my last post.
I have spoken on here for 10 yrs.I hope that because I have shared,and you have let me,that when you feel emotionally done,please just remember.......

Don't Stop Believing!

Beli

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

When it Rains,it Pours


Welcome;Yes my friends,2016 has not been good for my family.I have been feeling tough for 3 years,with my situations.Three years ago,I began caring for my husband with his heart.I am 65,he is 69.We have been
Married 50 yrs.Well,I found out in November2015,I had incurable lung cancer.He took a bad Heart attack,on January 10th.He now has to look after me.I am not able to work,so that puts more pressure on.He can not look after our 1 acre property,and,on and on.I have been trying to save to pay for funeral,but never seems to work out.
It is so hard to actually pay,plan your own funeral.
My government paid me 500$ a month on disability,and when I turned 65 last month,they cut my cpp pension to 62$.Now,tell me,How does a woman with cancer alone live in Canada with 62$.This has just happened,and I intend to challenge this,so send me hope,Yeah!
Well,physically,I am so tired.I am scared to lie in my bed,just waiting to die.I have no doctor,just the main cancer care people.They do not see me anymore.They spent an hour,with no compassion and sent me home. I am to wait for the pain,then go to emergeny care,T!he organs will shut down one at a time,come when you have pains..Unbelievable!
We are losing our home,our car.I could see the car,but we are rural,and couldn't live without transport.
I know my regular readers over 10 yrs,are saying,she's angry,and your right.
Maybe this post isn't as positive,but it doesn't mean it not.
So Remember til next time
Don't Stop Believing.
Believe

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Fatal Diagnosis

Welcome.The chest scan,the PET scan,and the Brochial
Biopsy revealed that the subcarinal lymph node has a large mass on it.It is a lymph node just below the trachea(wind pipe),on a branch with other nodes.
I saw the cancer care team radiologist,and he said he would do aggressive radiation,but I have too much lung volume loss from my lobotomy in my first stage.
Lung cancer in 2006.He will not risk it until palliative,as it would leave me on oxygen or kill me.
Then I saw the chemo doctor,and he said my cancer was incurable in me,because my body is not healthy enough,and it would not cure it anyway.He also told me,first appointment,Get your will in order,and ask for a DNR order.Wow!I didn't have a hope.I feared going on chemo,but now I am sad I am unable to stay here a little longer.
Yes,Remember my motto,I will Not stop Believing,and again,enjoy every minute,not day,or week,but minute,being grateful.
I have been unwell for a couple years.Very tired,a tiredness I have never known before,lost a lot of weight.I am only 99 pounds.I am not a big lady,but was around 114lbs,in good health.
I put off my symptoms to other causes,so I am in shock,to tell you the truth.I thought I just might need some iron.
My lung cancer from 2006,had no showing of symptoms til last year,but I never got a scan.
Now that this is a reality wake up,I am sure my feelings,my health,my questions,my stress will become my final days.The odds are not good,they say 2 months,maybe.I am scared.
I hope I can share with you so if you are going through this maybe we can relate.
Just catching you up on this new journey,my friends.
Keeping it short,but will post regularly with regard to my state of affairs.

So Remember
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe

THANKFUL

  Welcome my friends, I have not posted for awhile due to a lot of varied emotions. I have been writing this blog since 2006,my first diagno...