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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Facing the Truth

The time has come folks.They are unveiling the hidden object.I want to look away in Case it is hideous,I want to look just so I know.
The test results are in.Actually,it is many test results.My kidneys are failing,the ct scan revealed a stroke or possible tumors on my brain,and the EKG for the heart shows I have had a heart attack in the past and that with everything else,including the lung cancer and hypertension,I am certainly on the"its going to happen again list".
This is really mind boggling.
Sure,as some of you have noted,I have a positive attitude.I have also NOT been in severe pain,nor have I had to go through chemotherapy.I am just in the waiting game stage.
This last month has me getting a little worried.I think I am starting to fear the worse.Maybe if I think of all the bad things that could happen,I might be able to be more realistic of the truth.
I have some options medically.I am not a doctor,but I have the internet to review some procedures that will be required,and I can only trust that I make the right decisions.
When the oncologist found my lung cancer,in minutes I was being booked for surgery.I had No choice.I made the right decision.
Yes,I am strong,and have a bit of capability on dealing with a lot.I am also guilty of not dealing with it at all.
I am going to have to grow up and face the facts.
I hope my positive attitude is not lost in the truth,and that I keep an open and trusting mind.
Thank You for all your letters and comments.It is through knowing there are others that are going through this cancer and all the other problems,that makes me feel like I am not alone.

So remember til next time

DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe

Saturday, April 03, 2010

FROZEN ASSETS

Welcome.
I apologize for the delay in my posts.
I have been around and back in my mind and my body of late.
I had been left with so many questions last time I wrote.I am now facing the answers.
I saw my cardiac specialist yesterday,to be told that I will most likely have a heart attack or else my kidneys are going to fail.Well!Try to absorb that diagnosis.Personally,I do not think I have allowed it to sink in yet.
I was okay with the waiting for all the results,now,much better than knowing.
They have also found other things like "Gout"I do not even know what that is,but I do not seem to have any symptoms.
This news is still so fresh to me.I want to put off any decisions about the options I was given until I see my Lung Cancer doctor on May 5th.I guess that sounds like an excuse?
I was accepted at a place of employment where I had been trying to get into for three years.I am on call for a position there.I suppose now that my plans are on hold.That saddens me,as I actually thought that working again would help me to keep looking forward to the next day.
I had planned a trip for the first time in 40 years,and maybe the last time.I will have to cancel my plans on that as well,I guess.
So much about living every day in the moment,cause sometimes the moments aren't so pleasant.
I am whining again.
I do have a happy bit of news to share.I have been given a chihuahua puppy that helps keep my mind on her instead of myself all the time.She needs me,so instead of me receiving all the time I can give too.
Lung Cancer,Emphysema,Heart attack,stroke,kidney disease,gout, and now high cholesterol to boot.
I am still breathing,so there is still a chance.L.O.L.
I have so much I want to do,but I suppose there will be a bit of delay.I guess I have "Frozen Assets".

Til next time remember

DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe