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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Shorter of Breath,and one Day Closer to Death

Welcome back everyone.No news,was not good news,so I haven't posted for awhile,due to the fact that my spirit was a bit down.I know you are accustomed to my whining on here,but it is even starting to bother me.L.O.L.


I have been so very tired lately.My lungs are definitely getting worse,and the emphysema is causing me to become short of breath,just from speaking.My heart is bad as well,so I guess with those vital organs slowing down,it is no wonder.
I have got a lot on my plate this month.Hopefully,I will have some more answers on some of my conditions,with regard to my heart attacks and strokes and only remaining kidney.I think I really do not need to hear it all again though.There is a chance that my lung cancer has come back.I am so scared with that.
Before they diagnosed me with lung cancer 5 years ago,I had a very bad cough.The cough lasted for months.Now,after 5 years,I am starting to cough like that again.I am thinking it could be my COPD,at least I am praying that,as then I would go on oxygen,instead of chemo.Both are horrific diagnosis's anyway.It is always like that with me though.This Dr. appointment with my cancer surgeon will either be the first of a beginning new every week thing and chemo,or he will say I do not have to see him for a year.YEAH!LETS PRAY FOR THAT!
I have a lung cancer called "BAC".It is one of the rarer cancers.
I was blessed to have the 2 inch tumor removed in 2006.I have not had it return.The thing is,there is very little survival rate of over 5 years with this kind of cancer.
I am okay now,so I am praying to God to keep me well for another 5 years at least.
The reason my spirit is down is financial this time.
We are going to lose our home of 34 years soon.My husband worked on the railway for over 30 years til 2002,when he left to care for me.
With his age and health against him now,and my teeny weeny problems,we would not be able to find employment.
We have a couple months yet.
But,you know me,I still "Believe" that something will happen in the meantime to prevent that.
I am still hoping to get something that pays from home,so I can bring in some income.We'll see.
It is hard to plan.It is hard to know what to strive for when you are under a death sentence with cancer.I do believe however,that we must still keep our dreams and hopes alive.By doing that we can actually look forward to getting up in the morning,with a smile on our face...

So til next time Remember


DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Believe