tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257283722024-03-07T01:01:56.403-06:00LUNG CANCER LIFE:This is a journal about my diagnosed "Lung Cancer".The negative sides, but emphasis on many positive aspects.I believe I have been given a second chance,for now, and I hope to use it wisely,in the days and I hope months to come.Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.comBlogger117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-47006952495961931162021-12-17T20:31:00.000-06:002021-12-17T20:31:29.153-06:00NEVER GIVE UP "HOPE"<h2 style="text-align: left;"> <span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Welcome,my friends.</span></h2><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">You have been you on my journey of Lung Cancer,for 15 yrs.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Thank you for being here.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I found a purpose to share the emotional damage of Cancer.I wrote to you,and myself as a therapy,to stay together in my mind.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">My title is Never give up Hope,but I can honestly say,that many times during my trials and tribulations,I did give up.There were days,months and years,that I felt like "Whats the point?"</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">When the doctors told me my cancer was spreading,in2015,I left my employment,and with that I felt hopeless.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Every day now is a blessing!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I will not cure my cancer,but I can change my state of mind.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">I would love to hear from my readers over the years,to know how they are.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Please read my other posts to understand where I am at and where I am going</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">til then</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Dont stop Believing!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">And never give up HOPE!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">believe</span></div>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-55673301608148290252021-02-18T15:09:00.000-06:002021-02-18T15:11:33.379-06:00HERE we Go Again<p> Welcome,and may you all have a wonderful 2021.</p><p>2020,hurt was plenty,</p><p>2021,may your journey have only begun!</p><p>I just had hip surgery in November,and unable to walk right now,I had to call paramedics feb.2nd because I couldnt get my breath.When I did cough, it was painful.</p><p>They diagnosed pneumonia on my left lung,and performed a Ct scan and chest xray.</p><p>I had just spent 7 weeks in hospital february til april in 2020 from from.H1N1 Influenza,Type A flue,and double pneumonia,and never fully recovered.</p><p>I am mostly bedridden,and I had a seizure in the hospital after my surgery,so they thought the cancer might have travelled to the brain.</p><p>Well,dealing with being in bed and loss of drivers license and a scary diagnosis,two months later,as I lied in the intensive care unit they told me that the xray showed a "Compression Fracure" on my vertebrae.The doctor told me that the cancer had metastised to the bones.</p><p>So,after fighting last year and the beginning of this year,I have had a tough go.</p><p>I try everything to stay positive.To Believe,that I will get better.</p><p>To have hope to find a cure.</p><p>I still have my spirit,my faith,and of course my faithful readers.</p><p>I hope someway,somehow,this blog I have written since 2006,(my first cancer diagnosis)has helped you know that you are not alone.I received an award for my writing this,but the best reward is telling you my truths.</p><p>I want to stay positive so I work at it.I listen to music,do puzzles,write,and keep in touch with friends by phone.</p><p>Covid has dispaced all of us,so keeping our minds on negative things we cant change is a waste of time.</p><p>I no longer have much time,but I want you all to know....</p><p><br /></p><p>Dont stop Believeing!</p><p><br /></p><p>Believe</p><p>Til next time</p>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-20978820207302314572020-09-07T17:50:00.002-05:002020-09-07T17:54:16.133-05:00THANKFUL<p> <span style="font-family: inherit;">Welcome my friends,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have not posted for awhile due to a lot of varied emotions.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have been writing this blog since 2006,my first diagnosis of cancer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I am so blessed and thankful to be here to share my journey with you.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I hope you can have faith and hope as you go through your cancer journey as well.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I am still at end stage adenocarcinoma.I was diagnosed for this metastic cancer in 2015,and was told to go home,as they could not give me radiation or chemotherapy,as my system was already compromised.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">It is August 2020,and after a lengthy stay at an ICU,in february to march,6wks,for influenza,and pneumonia,I am about to deal with another ct scan and oncologist report in a week.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">The flu took a lot out of me,and my frailness shows.</span></p><p>My oncoligist told me two months ago that he would consider chemo therapy,and I should think about my options.</p><p>I tried to,but I cant seem to consentrate on the unknown.</p><p>I am already comprimised,and afraid I will feel worse,after such treatments.</p><p>I am however,not the only one affected by my decision.I must consider my families feelings.</p><p>I know that many of you have had to face that decision,and there for ,I am asking if you could help me,please write.</p><p>I need to keep my faith and</p><p><br /></p><p>Don't stop Believing!</p><p><br /></p><p>BELIEVE</p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-23428183327517180812019-05-07T15:47:00.000-05:002019-05-07T15:47:17.880-05:00Blessedwelcome.It is a blessing to be here with you today.<br />
I will begin from the last post .It has been awhile since I posted and hope I can catch you up.<br />
My oncologist,for my terminal Andocarcinoma,has written his opinion.He now states that the average life of this cancer is 15 months.I was diagnosed with no treatment available,a DNR,Do not resusitate order April 2016.<br />
I did not do anything different,I had given up,but I kept on believing.<br />
I was motivated by spirit,though my body has been ill .<br />
I really cant explain,but again,I am a Blessing!<br />
On March 16th 2019,this year,I was told my aorta,had an abdominal aneurysm.It was sure a surprise to hear from my heart doctor that they can Not do anything,to go home and enjoy any minute.<br />
The first diagnosis that I wrote about was in 2006,it was lung cancer.They removed a lobe of my lung then.On November 2015 the xray of my chest found this crippling,death sentence cancer.<br />
My God,I cant explain it.The doctors had agreed in January that my cancer survival was above normal,and that I could have a year or so.Well,as Blessed as I was,this latest heart thing,is really scaring me.<br />
I am tired,not on oxygen yet,but have lost 20lbs.I weigh 97 lbs,from120 or so.<br />
I miss socailizing,I miss purpose,but Now,I think my journey forward will be to be me,and accept that I am meant to be here for that purpose,and that reason.so everybody....<br />
<br />
Don't Stop Believing!<br />
<br />
BelieveBelievehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-3649380072664818872018-03-27T22:53:00.000-05:002018-03-27T22:53:38.621-05:00Am I Living or Dying?Welcome back!<br />
Just a catch up to new comers.This journey was started in 2006.I had a removal of a lobe in my lung where they found a 2cm cancer tumor.Lots of that info can be found on my 120 posts.You were my journal,my way to get out my feelings,and I know from your comments you appreciated me as well.<br />
Now,I am on a different journey,and I would like to share.<br />
November 2015,after an xray,pet scan,and surgery to take samples from my lung,I was told I had Terminal stage 4 Andocarcinoma,and it had metastisised to my lymph nodes.It was incurable,and I would have 4 to 9 months.<br />
The Dr. spent 15 minutes with me,and said.We want you to have a quality of life."Your health is not good and radiation,and/or chemo could kill you"Wow!It is now 28 months later,and I am here,or am I.<br />
I received a letter after my last scan May 10th/2017,that read.<br />
"Biopsy proven Adenocarcinom subcarinal tumor has resolved itself.DESPITE NO THERAPY".<br />
They were in shock,I had no medications,and actually no doctor after that.They will see me every six months and petform another scan in Decem<br />
ber.<br />
Now,what happened.I told the dr. that I Believed,and had many prayers.<br />
So,it brings up another post I will write soon.Should we be told when we are going to die?<br />
I never crawled up on the couch,I never cried,(honest),and continued to make plans for the future.But,But,But,I never really came back.I stayed tired,lost weight,I am 90 lbs,5ft,and just turned 67.<br />
They said to have a quality of life,but I have kind of been bed ridden of late.I should be celebrating but lately,I have gotten depressed,and I know why.<br />
I think I have begun to not see a purpose.<br />
I have a husband and three boys,and a grandson.<br />
How can I say hello,connect,when I have to say good bye.<br />
I recorded my dr. on our first visit.He said noone has ever survived,the cancer was INCURABLE.NOW,maybe you can understand the title.<br />
This has been the hardest as my family has not seen me ill,so they didnt speak to me much about it.I also never made plans.I had a paper on my fridge.It was a DNR,(do not resusitate order)I think I really still dont know,Am I Living or Dying???<br />
I would appreciate your views on this.<br />
Its a good news story now,but how can the best of the cancer care be so wrong???<br />
I am grateful everyday.I just regret not having money,or energy to enjoy.I am a miracle,as mentioned in my last post,but I feel like I am wasting these precious moments,just looking out my window.<br />
There is nothing wrong with me.I do my personal consulting work,I have my arms,legs.I am the same now and during the cancer.There are a lot of real issues,but,I have been so blessed.<br />
Those of you who are suffering ,I will be there soon.Doctors cant believe this.<br />
At first 6 visits they said the tumor appeared to be shrinking,but said it was probably just because the xray was on the wrong angle.<br />
All I can say now,is<br />
Whats up Doc?<br />
Leaving this rambling post on a good note.<br />
So Remember<br />
<br />
KEEP ON BELIEVING!<br />
Believe.Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-55210553030575408832017-09-12T19:58:00.000-05:002018-03-27T21:49:23.842-05:00Miracles Do Happen,Again<span style="font-size: x-large;">Welcome,my faithful friends.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have amazing news.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have just gone through the terminal cancer.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have had faith,prayers,and I believed.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">On May 10th,The doctors report that the 2cm tumor has resolved,despite no therapy.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The doctors have not seen this.They will do another scan in November.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have been Blessed!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Sorry for the lack of posts,but I am back.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I want to tell you to Never,ever,give up.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I believe God has a reason to allow me to move on.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I can tell you though,its tough to Live,when you are told there is no hope.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Financially,its been tough,but I am ready to begin my Life again.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I wanted to share this news,and offer my prayers to all of you,and your loved ones.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Prayers,saved me!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">May God Bless all of you who have followed me and sent your prayers.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So Remember...</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Don't Stop Believing</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Believe</span></div>
Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-24045775976250297972016-12-20T16:51:00.000-06:002016-12-20T16:51:32.614-06:00The Death SentenceWelcome,my faithful friends.<br />
I am so grateful to be writing this post to you.<br />
I was told by the doctors,all of them,that I would pass,by December 5th.<br />
Please,don't ask about when,just have now.<br />
For you first time readers,a bit of a catch up on the last year.<br />
My first diagnosis of lung cancer was 2006.I had a lobe removed in one lung and carried on,without recurrence until 2013.I started all the symptoms again,coughing,tired,breathless.<br />
It wasn't til November last yr. That I got a chest scan that revealed a 2cm.tumor on my wind pipe.It is on the "cardina",which is a lymph node..<br />
My diagnosis is "Adeno Carcinoma with lymph node involvement"<br />
The oncologists told me they could not give therapy.Radiation could kill me,but surely put me on oxygen.<br />
The chemo doctor had the same opinion.<br />
There is no cure or hope for me.<br />
I was sent home to die.I have no palliative care,can't afford is,so my husband,who has his own issues helps me.<br />
I have a Do Not Recusicate order,and just told that I will probably stop breathing,but call 911,when I think it's time.<br />
What a horrible situation.Sent home to die.I haven't seen a doctor,no blood tests,no one examining me,just some pain meds.<br />
Well,You know me.I am having a hard time with this,even though it's true.<br />
I still Believe,I will live awhile longer.<br />
I am in some pain,but My spirit is good.I have equal good and bad days,and I pray a lot.<br />
Thanks to all of you,friends,and family,maybe we can set a precedent!<br />
Then,in reality,this might be my last post.<br />
I have spoken on here for 10 yrs.I hope that because I have shared,and you have let me,that when you feel emotionally done,please just remember.......<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Don't Stop Believing!</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: red;">Beli</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-41732828956632283872016-04-27T13:18:00.000-05:002017-02-02T01:28:58.149-06:00When it Rains,it Pours<br />
Welcome;Yes my friends,2016 has not been good for my family.I have been feeling tough for 3 years,with my situations.Three years ago,I began caring for my husband with his heart.I am 65,he is 69.We have been<br />
Married 50 yrs.Well,I found out in November2015,I had incurable lung cancer.He took a bad Heart attack,on January 10th.He now has to look after me.I am not able to work,so that puts more pressure on.He can not look after our 1 acre property,and,on and on.I have been trying to save to pay for funeral,but never seems to work out.<br />
It is so hard to actually pay,plan your own funeral.<br />
My government paid me 500$ a month on disability,and when I turned 65 last month,they cut my cpp pension to 62$.Now,tell me,How does a woman with cancer alone live in Canada with 62$.This has just happened,and I intend to challenge this,so send me hope,Yeah!<br />
Well,physically,I am so tired.I am scared to lie in my bed,just waiting to die.I have no doctor,just the main cancer care people.They do not see me anymore.They spent an hour,with no compassion and sent me home. I am to wait for the pain,then go to emergeny care,T!he organs will shut down one at a time,come when you have pains..Unbelievable!<br />
We are losing our home,our car.I could see the car,but we are rural,and couldn't live without transport.<br />
I know my regular readers over 10 yrs,are saying,she's angry,and your right.<br />
Maybe this post isn't as positive,but it doesn't mean it not.<br />
So Remember til next time<br />
Don't Stop Believing.<br />
BelieveBelievehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-58725417552157030322016-04-19T21:14:00.000-05:002016-04-19T21:14:58.751-05:00Fatal DiagnosisWelcome.The chest scan,the PET scan,and the Brochial<br />
Biopsy revealed that the subcarinal lymph node has a large mass on it.It is a lymph node just below the trachea(wind pipe),on a branch with other nodes.<br />
I saw the cancer care team radiologist,and he said he would do aggressive radiation,but I have too much lung volume loss from my lobotomy in my first stage.<br />
Lung cancer in 2006.He will not risk it until palliative,as it would leave me on oxygen or kill me.<br />
Then I saw the chemo doctor,and he said my cancer was incurable in me,because my body is not healthy enough,and it would not cure it anyway.He also told me,first appointment,Get your will in order,and ask for a DNR order.Wow!I didn't have a hope.I feared going on chemo,but now I am sad I am unable to stay here a little longer.<br />
Yes,Remember my motto,I will Not stop Believing,and again,enjoy every minute,not day,or week,but minute,being grateful.<br />
I have been unwell for a couple years.Very tired,a tiredness I have never known before,lost a lot of weight.I am only 99 pounds.I am not a big lady,but was around 114lbs,in good health.<br />
I put off my symptoms to other causes,so I am in shock,to tell you the truth.I thought I just might need some iron.<br />
My lung cancer from 2006,had no showing of symptoms til last year,but I never got a scan.<br />
Now that this is a reality wake up,I am sure my feelings,my health,my questions,my stress will become my final days.The odds are not good,they say 2 months,maybe.I am scared.<br />
I hope I can share with you so if you are going through this maybe we can relate.<br />
Just catching you up on this new journey,my friends.<br />
Keeping it short,but will post regularly with regard to my state of affairs.<br />
<br />
So Remember<br />
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!<br />
<br />
BelieveBelievehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-41828383531973959512016-04-12T15:53:00.000-05:002016-04-12T15:53:48.814-05:00The Beginning of the End<br />
Welcome back my loyal friends.After Ten years of cancer free Lung Cancer,it's back,not curable,stage 3 Adenocarcinoma.<br />
I just got told all this.I found last time 2006,that speaking to you,was the way I stayed together.Your prayers,kindness and empathy,were my spiritual guardians.<br />
I hope to share the emotional,and physical sides of "End of Life".Most of all the spiritualism.<br />
I have had many close calls of death,as I have written for 8 yrs.<br />
There are amazing blogs on line now,since I started.I type with one finger,and am not to tech,so please bare with me.<br />
Short post,to let you know,I am here for you,and hope you are there for me.<br />
I am not in the blogging business,just a person who can express through words,what I feel inside.<br />
Please checkout my past posts to see how I got to here.<br />
And Remember;<br />
<br />
Don't Stop Believing!<br />
<br />
BelieveBelievehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-14666355925929103972014-12-11T19:18:00.000-06:002014-12-11T19:19:17.947-06:00Sweeter than WineWelcome friends.<br />
I am so Thankful to be posting once more.I am still in remission from my lung cancer 8 yrs.I have been re reading my past stories to you over the years.I know that all the prayers and well wishes on your comments ,have been a huge part of my mental and physical recovery.Thank You. I am moving along in my life,slow,but with thoughts of life Not death.I would like to post more positive posts in the new year,and also info on lung cancer persons.<br />
I would like to wish everyone a very happy,healthy,New Year.I look forward to hearing from all of you.<br />
til next time<br />
Remember<br />
<span style="color: #e69138;">Don't stop Believing!</span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;">Believe</span><br />
<br />Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-42203133415560282052013-10-17T11:41:00.000-05:002013-10-17T11:41:20.071-05:00Bless the Lord!Seven Years and still HereWelcome back to all my faithful readers,and Welcome to my new friends.<br />
I have not posted on here for over a year so here goes some past news for my readers that are here for the first time and an update to those that have been following me for seven years.<br />
I was diagnosed with (BAC) Lung canser non small cell of the right lobe of my lung.I had a removel of that lobe and have remained lung cancer free for 7.5 years.Please read from the beginning of my blog to try to understand the emotional side of this deadly Cancer and all cancers to find how it affects everyone in the families of the victims.<br />
For myself,this past year has been one of hope and of disappointment.That seems quite normal,but to me its been a run of "Murphey's Law".I am being doctored all over.I have a spevcialist for my every complaint.I have an oncologist for my lungs,a nephrologist(kidney) for my loss of one kidney 2 years ago.<br />
The last eight months,I have been almost completely bad ridden with three compressed fractures of the spinal column.Well,I feel like I missed my spring and my summer,and I missed writing my posts.<br />
I am on a wait to see program with my doctors with regard to the cancer or cancers,as the case might be.It seems my doctor is quiter concerned about my recent three months of coughing,and shortness of breath.He is talking oxygen and perhaps another removel of a lobe or chemo.It is all getting scary again.<br />
I lost another family e member to Cancer a few weeks ago.He was only 50 yrs old.He left a family.There have been so many deaths from cancer over the last ten years it seems.<br />
I am pretty healthy compared to other cancer vicyims.I many other health problems but I am learning to cope with the good days and bad.I also have great support from my husband.<br />
I promise I will write more often,and stay tuned for more info on dealing with your cancer,emotions and spirit.<br />
<br />
and Remember<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-79283277203633274852012-09-06T15:25:00.000-05:002012-09-06T15:25:04.384-05:00Facing the Facts or Not?Welcome back my faithful loyal readers.My delay in writing is good news.<br />
I have survived another summer,and have enjoyed every minute of it.I postponed all my doctor appointments,(which you shouldn't do),and decided that I would stay worry free for a few months.I still have my bad days and the pains get bad now and again ,but the diagnosis the doctors give me,make me worse.<br />
It truly seems that when I think I have one situation of my problems fixed another pops up.I am falling apart a little at a time.<br />
Yes,We all need to face the facts and start to try to make changes in our lives when we have a fatal disease such as lung cancer,heart,kidney or other problems.I do face the truth everyday but sometimes I just don't feel I want to waste time in thinking.lol.<br />
Lung Cancer is Brutal.I am so far a very blessed person to have survived my diagnosis in 2006.I do have other areas of cancer as well as lung that I am dealing with now as well.Lung cancer spreads so rapidly to the other organs such as brain and liver.My liver is still doing alright,and ,although my friends might sometimes disagree with me,I am sound in the brain area.My problem seems to be the genetic spread of cancer.I have been treated previously for cervical cancer in the late 90's and am now waiting results from a biopsy of the womb.I have also a few breast cysts that are being checked into.<br />
Now,the list goes on.Would you like to wake up everyday and think about that "things to do list"?<br />
I still have a date with myself by the end of the month to prepare for all the doctor,patient routine for winter.<br />
So....til then,I will sit back,enjoy a breath of fresh air,and face the facts tomorrow.<br />
<br />
til then <br />
Remember<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">Don't Stop Believing!</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-40692318368979212862012-06-10T14:10:00.000-05:002012-12-21T13:00:50.071-06:00MIRACLES DO HAPPENHello,my friends.Yes,I am a walking,talking,living miracle.I have lived through over 9 terminal diagnosis's.I am here today for a reason,that is for sure.You have to have Faith and Believe.As early as 1996,I had one of my first scares with a date made for surgery to remove my breasts.The miracle was,that a doctor took the time to take a second look at the scan and said that there were six cysts and that they could be drained.I left a whole woman.Since then I have suffered Grand Mal seizures,Bells Palsy,two strokes,two heart attacks,and many more.In 2002 I was diagnosed with "Cirrhosis of the Liver".I was given less then 3 months to live.I weighed 87 lbs.I was dying.I prayed.Three months later,and after stopping alcohol my liver began to regenerate and after ten years of sobriety,I have a new liver.In 2006,the diagnosis of lung cancer was a tough one.I was faced with surgery to remove a 2.2" tumor on my right lobe of my lung.Stage 1 lung cancer.My odds of surgery were not good.I had very bad hypertension(high blood pressure) and had already had a heart attack.They got the cancer ,and I survived the operation and have been free of that for 6 years.God Bless.But yes,unfortunately,there is more.The good news,I am here.The bad news,is that I lost a kidney somehow a couple of years ago,and have been diagnosed with fibromalgia,(hardening of the arteries}.I am also waiting to hear about a biopsy on my womb,as they suspect cancer there now.Oh well,So Far so good,so I keep the faith and most of all.<br />
I DO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!<br />
So my friends.Please keep hoping and praying and even make believe that we can get through a lot of challenges in our life ,sometimes.<br />
Til next time remember....<br />
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<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Believe</span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"> </span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-28243039492319925602012-04-08T15:21:00.000-05:002012-04-08T15:21:45.701-05:00Moving ForwardWelcome back my friends.It is good news that has delayed my posts this time.I have been working/playing a lot lately.I am enjoying my career on a part time basis and loving every minute of it.It helps a little with finances,which have been tough this last year.I have met some wonderful people,been around some great energy and I have felt better the last nine months,(psychologically) than the last six years.I definitely feel that trying to keep busy with ones mind on other activities,plays a big part on dealing with keeping our minds off that which we can not change.I have learned the acceptance part of Lung Cancer,and all my other ailments.I "Believe",I pray ,and I have faith that I will just be given some more time.<br />
I have had a few set backs the last couple months.I developed pneumonia and had to go to the hospital a couple of times.I was lucky and with some medicine for my emphysema,and an antibiotic for the pneumonia I was pleased that I did not succumb to total respiratory failure.I had a cough these last few months though,and that has had me a bit worried.The cough is very similar to the one that previous brought concern to me in 2005.It was this symptom that encouraged me to get a CT scan of the lungs,which of course revealed the Stage 1 Lung Cancer.I had the right lobe of my lung removed and have remained cancer free for six years,Thank God!<br />
I will see my oncologist in May for a check up and another x-ray of the chest and can only pray that the cancer has not returned.He told me that depending on the test he may have to remove another lobe of my lung,or put me on chemo.I do not like any of those options,but one has no choice.<br />
I also have to see my kidney doctor that month.He will determine if my one and only kidney is functioning okay.If it is not he says I will have to go on dialysis or have a transplant.All of these realities,all of theses facts.I do find it hard to think about it all.I like to just wait and see,and NOT worry til its time.<br />
Spring has sprung here,and with that I feel alive myself.I am happy and thankful that I do not have oxygen,yet,for my emphysema.I am so blessed that so far I haven't had to endure any chemo,or any other surgery.<br />
I have bad days,lots of bad days.I also have lots of good days,and those are the ones that count.<br />
When all my appointments with all my doctors are over,maybe I will have to change my plans,but I will also learn to roll with and deal with anything that God has decided for my fate.I believe its a lot to do with attitude.Dealing with cancer,or any terminal disease takes its toll on everyone.You have to have Hope,Faith and also .....<br />
Remember.....<br />
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<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-48964072510697611912012-02-11T09:07:00.000-06:002012-02-11T09:07:09.418-06:00HOPE for LIFE<strong>Hope</strong> is the <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional" title="Emotional">emotional</a> state, the opposite of which is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Despair" title="Despair">despair</a>, which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-0"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope#cite_note-0">[1]</a></sup> It is the "feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best" or the act of "look[ing] forward to with desire and reasonable confidence" or "feel[ing] that something desired may happen".<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-1"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope#cite_note-1">[2]</a></sup> Other definitions are "to cherish a desire with anticipation"; "to desire with expectation of obtainment"; or "to expect with confidence<br />
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Welcome back everyone.You made my days with all of your comments and well wishes and prayers.Thank You.<br />
You know that trough all my trials I have had to "Believe".I have had Faith.I also have Hope.<br />
We all have those things,those thoughts,that get us through.I know with cancers,and heart disease,kidney disease and copd,fatal diseases,that Hope is all we can do.I will also acknowledge the fact that those people that are lying in pain in the last stages of dying,lose their hope.<br />
I write on my posts about positive attitude.That my friends is a great remedy.It doesn't cost anything,and we all can do it.We can change our state of mind.We can go to our happy place,we can recall our great memories,but we can mentally survive the toll that cancer takes.<br />
We all can and do have Hope.We Hope and pray that they will find a cure.We hope the chemo works.<br />
We pray.We pray for GOD not to take us from our loved ones,and at times we pray for good to stop our suffering,and let us go.<br />
I do pray everyday,that I can still continue to have Faith,Belief,and mostly hope that I can keep on doing what I am doing,just in the moment,just for the day.<br />
I would like to invite you now,to a song that my brother-in law Charles Chilton wrote after he read my blog.He was able to feel the words I have been trying to express to all my readers.Please have a listen to<br />
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"HOPE"<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/charleschilton">http://www.youtube.com/charleschilton</a><br />
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Thank You,and remember til next time<br />
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<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-79505560738142079532011-12-23T16:39:00.002-06:002011-12-27T19:15:20.860-06:00New Year of Hopes and DreamsMerry Christmas and a very Healthy Happy New Year to you all.May all your hopes and dreams come true,now and forever.<br />
I have lots of Hope.I have lots of Dreams.Those two go together.I hope I can always Dream,and I Dream I can always Hope.<br />
I like a New Year.I kind of feel like it is the first day back to school.I will get a new journal,and start to write nice and neat.I am sure I will continue that for awhile,but the truth....I will probably forget to write in it in a few months.L.O.L<br />
My hope is that the lung cancer has not returned to eat me up.I have lost 20 pounds in the last three months,and that was not planned.I guess I am kind of worried,so...Now I will have to put some of my dreams on hold.<br />
I hope that my one and only kidney does not fail.I have chosen not to go on "Dialysis".I am just trying to find the right diet right now to get healthy enough to fight what that throws at me.<br />
I also dream.I dream that I will live another 20 years and I see myself beginning again,and NEVER,EVER,wasting any more time worrying so much again.<br />
But most of all,I Pray,everyday,that I will live every moment like it is my last.I will give and receive love.I will be happy.<br />
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P.S I thought after 6 years of posting I would change the old photo.The previous photo showed my "Aura".This photo is the up to date one.I hope now you will know who you are really talking to.L.O.L<br />
Just hard to face the age difference.<br />
I will have a Merry Christmas with my loved ones and be Thankful.<br />
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I will have a good year!<br />
so remember til next time....<br />
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<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-69374188586815591092011-11-23T21:11:00.000-06:002011-11-23T21:11:12.729-06:00Counting My Blessings for the 6th,7th,8th and 9th times Again!Welcome Everyone.Happy Thanks Giving to all of my guests who are celebrating this day in their homes.I also wish everyone who reads my posts would also like to take the time to reflect on some of the moments of strife and glory,and to count your blessings as well.<br />
Now,with that being said I will try to catch you all up on my latest news.<br />
I have just recently had a bout of the cold/flu situation that has been going around here.I unfortunately,ended up with a few complications more.My lungs having had the lung cancer surgery,and my emphysema were not to able to keep up with the impact of a cold and I ended up with pneumonia.I have,Thankfully,recovered from that,but have increased my inhalers to compensate with my dry hacking cough and shortness of breath.<br />
I also visited my "nephrologist"(kidney doctor),yesterday.He told me that my potassium level was quite low.He also noted that I had lost over ten pounds in the last few months.He is so concerned with the weight loss that he is going to be in touch with my lung cancer doctor.He really scared me,because I didn't think I would hear any thing regarding my cancer situation from him.I,as far as I know,do not have cancer in my kidney,so.....I am now a little alarmed.I have of course thought over and over again as to what else might have caused me to lose my weight,but for the life of me,I do not think any of my eating habits have changed.Inside myself,I just sort of want to try to gain some weight and eat the right foods to gain some needed "potassium"back in my body,and just take each day as it comes.<br />
It is Christmas coming,and I really do not want to deal with any more decisions then I already have.I will keep you posted as to how that is going.Wish me luck.<br />
Today,and everyday,I do count my blessings.I have written a post every year regarding the miracles and blessings that have happened to me.<br />
I have been given many tests,many trials,and Thank God I am here to share my stories with you again.When you are faced with a doctor telling you that you only have a few weeks or months to live,you do STOP and think.The word live,becomes LIVE!In that moment,your life really does flash before your eyes.I have had that feeling each and every year with every fatal diagnosis that I have had made on my ailments.My life no longer flashes as much ,as I am living,or trying to live each minute,in the moment and have the foresight and not the hindsight of all the flashes as that first time.<br />
We all have challenges in our lives,and we all have the ability to choose how we deal with them.<br />
My blessings also go out to all of those brave souls who are facing cancer,to all those who have lost others to this battle,and to all the caregivers that get us through.<br />
May God Bless You!<br />
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Til next time remember......<br />
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<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-13107787017523100982011-10-14T14:49:00.000-05:002011-10-14T14:49:26.197-05:00Standing at the Crossroads<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well,Here I am again folks.Medically,I am at the crossroads.It seems neither of my choices will be good ones.I do not want to dwell on that right now.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I do however,want to tell you that I am not as dependant upon my husband as much.For several years I hardly got of my bed.I now get up and drive the car to my freelance position ,I was able to obtain.It doesn't pay much,but with my son and husband to support,every bit helps.I now look forward to getting out of bed in the morning and facing the day.Every step I take I feel like I am winning against the odds.Lung Cancer,COPD,Fibromalgia,Heart Disease and only one kidney functioning,I feel pretty darn good.I am not on oxygen yet,I have the availability of both legs and arms,(though sometimes they ache).I am here now and even if this is my final act,it has been a great play.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I still have lots on my plate physically.Every doctor appointment scares me.I have my "nephrologist"(kidney doctor),to see in a few weeks.Two of my specialists believe I am losing my only kidney and have mentioned the open heart surgery and the kidney transplant again.But.....I will not worry yet,as that only wastes the good moments.My lung cancer doctor feels a six month check up is due.My heart doctor still says I am a ticking time bomb.I do not know,I really sound in worse shape than I feel.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">I want to let you all know to keep thinking positive,every day,even when stuff gets you so down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">So,Remember til next time</span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-63779828360387726652011-08-20T10:53:00.001-05:002011-11-10T07:37:36.048-06:00Ten Years of DyingWelcome everyone.The title of this post sounds scary,but the rest of the title should be,"and the next ten years trying".This trial of deadly diagnosis's began way before lung cancer and COPD.This all began with a mammogram of my breasts in 1996.I had a CT scan that showed there were several lumps and they suggested a surgeon remove my breasts and the lumps.I walked into the hospital that day,and an angel appeared to me.The angel was a lady Doctor,who took the time to take a second look at the situation.Yes,Lo! and behold they turned into cysts and were drained and yes ,today I am without Breast Cancer.The following years came with heart and liver and now kidney disease and of course lung cancer.<br />
I still am alive my friends.Yes,I am truly blessed,but I truly" believe"that with my faith in tomorrow,that I have survived the odds that were against me.I know that when the physical body takes over it can and will win.We have come along way with our technology,and the media is covering the warnings.I would like to see more screening done earliar.I would have liked to have been told I had the genetic genes that predisposed me to all of my problems.I think knowing would have made a difference in some of the choices i have had to make and made.I think I want to know when I am going to die.The worrying has already killed so much of me.<br />
I am at the stage now where I do not even want to see a doctor.I do not want to touch on cancer subjects.I do not want to find out if I have to have open heart surgery or a kidney transplant.For awhile,I just want to let time and worries slip away.I am enjoying working at my passion again,and those days make me happy.I am really going to try to live the next ten years.<br />
So,I hope on a possitive note.<br />
Til next time ...Remember...<br />
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<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-63257015253593169932011-07-06T15:27:00.000-05:002011-07-06T15:27:48.199-05:00COMFORTABLY NUMBWelcome,and I am so sorry to not have kept you updated.<br />
This time,no news,WAS,good news.<br />
I saw my doctor that looks after my lung cancer,and after the chest x-ray,he informed me that,wait for it......No regrowth of the two inch tumor in my lung has occurred.Yes,Yes,Thank you God!.<br />
This is past the five year mark for my lung cancer.There are very few lung cancer survivors.I am very blessed.<br />
I still do not take anything for granted.I still do not wish for anything,I am comfortably numb.<br />
I do not mean I am not moving,because,as of lately I have had new energy.I know that with the latest news on the cancer,I feel more positive about a future.Maybe not a long one,but maybe a little longer then was first thought.<br />
I am still on hold for a few things yet though.I lost one of my kidneys about a year ago,and so now,I have to keep getting tests to make sure my other one,and only one is functioning properly.I worry lots if I get pains in my back or side,I still have lots of heart problems too,but I figure,if its going to happen,then its going to happen.I am on top of my own medical conditions at all times,and have the top docs looking after me.Life goes on.<br />
I have found renewed energy in a passion of mine,that I am able to do again with confidence.I am out and about,instead of waiting to die in bed.I am feeling great .<br />
I want to say right now,right here,that "Today is the first day of my new life".<br />
Thank You all for all your prayers and well wishes,and thanks for coming back and riding along with me on this journey.I hope to be busy out in the work force for awhile,but I promise to post more often.<br />
Til then Remember<br />
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<span style="color: red;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-26477573556651785682011-04-24T14:13:00.003-05:002011-04-29T08:03:29.467-05:00Shorter of Breath,and one Day Closer to DeathWelcome back everyone.No news,was not good news,so I haven't posted for awhile,due to the fact that my spirit was a bit down.I know you are <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">accustomed</span> to my whining on here,but it is even starting to bother me.L.O.L.<br /><br /><br />I have been so very tired lately.My lungs are definitely getting worse,and the emphysema is causing me to become short of breath,just from speaking.My heart is bad as well,so I guess with those vital organs slowing down,it is no wonder.<br />I have got a lot on my plate this month.Hopefully,I will have some more answers on some of my conditions,with regard to my heart attacks and strokes and only remaining kidney.I think I really do not need to hear it all again though.There is a chance that my lung cancer has come back.I am so scared with that.<br />Before they diagnosed me with lung cancer 5 years ago,I had a very bad cough.The cough lasted for months.Now,after 5 years,I am starting to cough like that again.I am thinking it could be my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">COPD</span>,at least I am praying that,as then I would go on oxygen,instead of chemo.Both are horrific <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">diagnosis's</span> anyway.It is always like that with me though.This Dr. appointment with my cancer surgeon will either be the first of a beginning new every week thing and chemo,or he will say I do not have to see him for a year.YEAH!LETS PRAY FOR THAT!<br />I have a lung cancer called "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">BAC</span>".It is one of the rarer cancers.<br />I was blessed to have the 2 inch tumor removed in 2006.I have not had it return.The thing is,there is very little survival rate of over 5 years with this kind of cancer.<br />I am okay now,so I am praying to God to keep me well for another 5 years at least.<br />The reason my spirit is down is financial this time.<br />We are going to lose our home of 34 years soon.My husband worked on the railway for over 30 years til 2002,when he left to care for me.<br />With his age and health against him now,and my teeny weeny problems,we would not be able to find employment.<br />We have a couple months yet.<br />But,you know me,I still "Believe" that something will happen in the meantime to prevent that.<br />I am still hoping to get something that pays from home,so I can bring in some income.We'll see.<br />It is hard to plan.It is hard to know what to strive for when you are under a death sentence with cancer.I do believe however,that we must still keep our dreams and hopes alive.By doing that we can actually look forward to getting up in the morning,with a smile on our face...<br /><br />So til next time Remember<br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-20333763379098335832011-03-28T09:23:00.002-05:002011-03-28T09:49:54.655-05:00The Cancer ConstantWelcome back everyone. Today,I will start again,Today I will start again. My life is like the movie "Groundhog Day". Cancer is a constant.The thoughts nag at you continuously.Again and again and again. My lung cancer ,I hope,is at stage T1.It is a non small cell cancer.I was diagnosed six years ago,and am truly blessed to still be here to write this post. I do not have much physical pain from the cancer.I do however cringe a bit remembering the operation.They removed the right lobe of my lung,called a "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">lobectomy</span>" and left a twelve inch scar.Of course there is not pain under anesthesia,but looking at myself after the operation was scary.I had a tube to drain the blood from my chest and to make sure no clots would form.The tube came out of a hole in my chest about the size of a quarter.My back had twenty-one staples and I looked like Frankenstein.But,I was alive. My scar has since healed wonderfully. I am one of the lucky ones.Cancer kills and cancer kills fast.My lung cancer was only found by chance.I had had a wicked cough for over three months and the doctor decided it was time for a chest <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">xray</span>,to perhaps rule out pneumonia.They found a spot on my lung and then proceeded to CT scan to reveal a 2" tumor.I know a lot of doctors and patients would,and will take antibiotics and not go the extra distance to make sure.My advise would be to check out any cough that lasts a long time. The operation went well.I found the scary part was after. The physical pain is not so bad anymore,with regard to the cancer.I ,of course still have related pain with my emphysema. I do know that there isn't a day,that I don't worry about there being another day. With the latest diagnosis of the loss of my kidney and the very poor only other kidney,I am starting to feel that old familiar feeling. I am going through it again.I am going through it again.I am going through it again. I "Believe" that this will be another journey.I will have challenges,and I pray that I have the strength and courage to move on with grace and dignity. Well,Til next time....Remember <span style="color:#ff0000;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span> <span style="color:#ff0000;"></span><span style="color:#ff0000;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-2957501345650094892011-02-17T17:01:00.002-06:002011-02-17T17:31:57.391-06:00NOT READY TO LAY DOWN AND DIE!Some good news.The doctor said that the artery supply to my one good kidney is okay.They will not have to do the invasive surgery now.I am so relieved.<br />I am actually back to original diagnosis,which had said that I could live on one kidney.<br />I am sure going to have to make some real life changes to stay on top of this one.<br />It sure is a little off my plate right now,and I am so <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">grateful</span>.<br />My husband hugged me when we got the news.I felt that when I was busy worried about me dying,I had forgotten about his feelings on my loss.<br />I also surely know that for sure God has a reason for keeping me well.<br />For those of you that have read my posts over the last five years know about all my close calls.Death has been at my doorstep many times.I have prayed and I have shared my stories with you and you have sent me well wishes.I believe all of that has helped with all of these terminal illnesses.<br />I will still see a vascular surgeon,but the need is not at an urgent stage.<br />I hope not to have any doctor appointments for awhile,and look forward to moving on.<br />We have had a lot of financial difficulty over this the last few years.<br />When I got the lung cancer diagnosis my husband left work to care for me.The money has since run out,so we both have to find work.It will be a slow go,as we are both in our sixties.I figure I could start with a few hours a week.I can still walk and talk and I am still breathing,so I am ready to give it a go.<br />I sure am not yet ready to lay down and die.<br />So everyone just a short post to keep you up to date.<br />so remember til next time<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25728372.post-5858778450890371922011-02-06T16:38:00.003-06:002011-02-06T17:02:30.626-06:00RUNNING SCAREDWelcome everyone.Once again,Thank You all for your thoughts and prayers.<br /> I am about to set on a new voyage.My diagnostic tests are in with regard to the loss of a kidney and the about to be,loss of the other kidney.<br /> I have now been told that I will have to have vascular surgery to open up an artery that is blocked in the renal area.They have also suggested that I might have to have a kidney transplant.I have been told that without the surgery,I will be on dialysis for the rest of my life.<br /> I am sure that this is a situation that is faced by many.I am just amazed at why it is happening to me.<br />I have been dealing with lung cancer,emphysema,heart attack and two strokes.I never knew anything was even wrong with my kidneys,when this all began.<br />It has been a year now since they first discovered that I lost my right kidney.It is only now,a year later that they are about to get around to saving my only kidney and my life.<br />I am scared,and I feel like running.<br />It is not the operation itself that I am afraid of.It is the fact that my whole body is so wrecked,I am afraid that the operation itself is very risky.<br />The doctors tell me it is a do or die situation.They say I am a "ticking time bomb".<br />I say that it is much more difficult to face this with the knowledge of death looming.<br />There is always a risk with anesthesia,but with my high blood pressure and bad heart and lungs,the doctors themselves do not place much faith.<br />Well,Well,Well,.Here I am the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">positive</span> "Believe",losing faith?<br />I still want to believe that all will be well,but the reality must play a part in this.I will go into the operation with expectations of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">coming</span> out,but I will also go in prepared,not to come out.<br />I feel that to worry about it now,will waste precious time.My friends say that I am probably really stressed about it,but what good does that do.<br />I know that I will not choose dialysis.<br />I also know that after this operation I will be facing possible return of my lung cancer.I might be on chemo.I also know that I am fighting the odds and that I will soon have to be on oxygen.<br />It is not a pretty picture folks.<br />You have to be really strong to still keep smiling,and move on everyday.<br />I will not let myself lose faith,nor will I refuse any treatment that could save my life.<br />Yes,I am scared,but I guess even though I want to run,I won't.<br />Final test is this week and operation may be very soon this month.I will try to keep you posted.<br />so,Remember,til next time<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">DON'T STOP BELIEVING!</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Believe</span>Believehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12724453415222458746noreply@blogger.com0