What happens to us when we are told we are going to die?
Where in the brain,where in the spirit do we go?
Who do we tell first?What plans should we be making?Where do we go from here?
These are just some of the questions I had in my mind,and still do.
Sure there are those few moments,that I am not always concentrating on the answers.
Lately,with the way I have been feeling,the fear is starting to rise in me again.
I had to go to emergency a few days ago.I had a very high blood pressure,almost off the charts.I had pneumonia and was having difficulty breathing.
I explained that I had lung cancer and was being treated for a chest infection.They gave me a chest xray and an EKG.Thank God ,the EKG showed I was not having a heart attack.The chest xray was questionable,even to the doctor.She was unsure what she was seeing in the chest xray,and was not sure if it was the pneumonia,that was going on,or the Lung Cancer,showing up again.
Well,that was a few days ago,so you can imagine how I feel.
I have a Ct scan to look for a Brain Tumor ,on September 9th.
I am really starting to get mentally and physically exhausted.
How can I pull myself out of this gloom?How can I keep a smile on my face for my family,so they do not worry?
Questions with no answers.That is the Emotional pain of disease of any kind.
The diagnosis of a Fatal Disease such as Lung Cancer,just awakens us to the realisation,that yes,we are human,and we do get sick,we are not infallible.
The acceptance of my fate has not yet happened to me.
I still DO BELIEVE that I will get through all this.Maybe there is no hope in reality,but I believe that "Think it ,So Be It".
I am going to keep thinking and praying that next time I post ,I might have found some answers.
I am sure open to your suggestions,or comments on how you might have dealt with all of these annoying,but normal problems.
Til next time ....Remember
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!