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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Fatal Diagnosis :Letting it BE!

More tests ahead of me.

Good news is that the scare of "pancreatic" cancer,mentioned in my last post,was NOT found by the MRI test.The doctors other diagnosis of liver cancer was also ruled out.That is Great.The three weeks of wondering about those two fatal diseases put me in a daze.I know that Pancreatic cancer kills you fast.I started to look at life in minutes and hours.

Since the doctors have ruled out those two diseases they remain stumped as to a lot of my symptoms.

I still show a rise in the CEA blood test.That is the test they use to determine if a cancer is in you.

The waves of nausea I get,accompianed by the headaches and dizziness for 3 years has them wondering.I have been given all the tests for abdominal conditions,and they also came out negative.

Now the doctor wants me to have a brain CT scan.They think some of my symptoms represent a Brain Tumor.

All of these tests are quite concerning to me.They have told me that there is a risk associated with too many xrays.

In the past four months I have had,a nuclear radiation test for Bone Cancer.I have chest xrays every four months for the last three years to keep watch on my lung cancer.I have just had the MRI and now there heading for my brain.

I am getting close to saying "The heck with it"I sometimes think that I really do not want the actual diagnosis again.I feel okay.

"I am in good shape,for the shape I am in"

Every time I see a doctor I keep getting all this gloomy news.My husband is getting sick listening to all my talk about dying,funeral,last wishe s,etc.

I want to move on .

I have just ordered some business cards for myself and will return,with baby steps to get back into living again.

One feels like they should not make plans.

I am going to take one day at a time now,and instead of worrying so much I will just wait til they make the final diagnosis,and Hopefully after all their tests they can treat me.



So like I always say;



DON'T STOP BELIEVING!



Believe

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your story with us all.

It's been 14 months since my surgery and I've recently completed a post-op clinical trial with Tarceva.

I've had 14 CT's in 19 months and I'm tired of them. Yet I feel guilty because I think I should be appreciative that I'm watch so closely.

I constantly worry about the cancer returning, but like you, I've decided to get back living.

You are an inspiration and I thank you so very much.