Posts

COMFORTABLY NUMB

Welcome,and I am so sorry to not have kept you updated. This time,no news,WAS,good news. I saw my doctor that looks after my lung cancer,and after the chest x-ray,he informed me that,wait for it......No regrowth of the two inch tumor in my lung has occurred.Yes,Yes,Thank you God!. This is past the five year mark for my lung cancer.There are very few lung cancer survivors.I am very blessed. I still do not take anything for granted.I still do not wish for anything,I am comfortably numb. I do not mean I am not moving,because,as of lately I have had new energy.I know that with the latest news on the cancer,I feel more positive about a future.Maybe not a long one,but maybe a little longer then was first thought. I am still on hold for a few things yet though.I lost one of my kidneys about a year ago,and so now,I have to keep getting tests to make sure my other one,and only one is functioning properly.I worry lots if I get pains in my back or side,I still have lots of heart problems to...

Shorter of Breath,and one Day Closer to Death

Welcome back everyone.No news,was not good news,so I haven't posted for awhile,due to the fact that my spirit was a bit down.I know you are accustomed to my whining on here,but it is even starting to bother me.L.O.L. I have been so very tired lately.My lungs are definitely getting worse,and the emphysema is causing me to become short of breath,just from speaking.My heart is bad as well,so I guess with those vital organs slowing down,it is no wonder. I have got a lot on my plate this month.Hopefully,I will have some more answers on some of my conditions,with regard to my heart attacks and strokes and only remaining kidney.I think I really do not need to hear it all again though.There is a chance that my lung cancer has come back.I am so scared with that. Before they diagnosed me with lung cancer 5 years ago,I had a very bad cough.The cough lasted for months.Now,after 5 years,I am starting to cough like that again.I am thinking it could be my COPD ,at least I am praying that,as then...

The Cancer Constant

Welcome back everyone. Today,I will start again,Today I will start again. My life is like the movie "Groundhog Day". Cancer is a constant.The thoughts nag at you continuously.Again and again and again. My lung cancer ,I hope,is at stage T1.It is a non small cell cancer.I was diagnosed six years ago,and am truly blessed to still be here to write this post. I do not have much physical pain from the cancer.I do however cringe a bit remembering the operation.They removed the right lobe of my lung,called a " lobectomy " and left a twelve inch scar.Of course there is not pain under anesthesia,but looking at myself after the operation was scary.I had a tube to drain the blood from my chest and to make sure no clots would form.The tube came out of a hole in my chest about the size of a quarter.My back had twenty-one staples and I looked like Frankenstein.But,I was alive. My scar has since healed wonderfully. I am one of the lucky ones.Cancer kills and cancer kills fast.My l...

NOT READY TO LAY DOWN AND DIE!

Some good news.The doctor said that the artery supply to my one good kidney is okay.They will not have to do the invasive surgery now.I am so relieved. I am actually back to original diagnosis,which had said that I could live on one kidney. I am sure going to have to make some real life changes to stay on top of this one. It sure is a little off my plate right now,and I am so grateful . My husband hugged me when we got the news.I felt that when I was busy worried about me dying,I had forgotten about his feelings on my loss. I also surely know that for sure God has a reason for keeping me well. For those of you that have read my posts over the last five years know about all my close calls.Death has been at my doorstep many times.I have prayed and I have shared my stories with you and you have sent me well wishes.I believe all of that has helped with all of these terminal illnesses. I will still see a vascular surgeon,but the need is not at an urgent stage. I hope not to have any doctor...

RUNNING SCARED

Welcome everyone.Once again,Thank You all for your thoughts and prayers. I am about to set on a new voyage.My diagnostic tests are in with regard to the loss of a kidney and the about to be,loss of the other kidney. I have now been told that I will have to have vascular surgery to open up an artery that is blocked in the renal area.They have also suggested that I might have to have a kidney transplant.I have been told that without the surgery,I will be on dialysis for the rest of my life. I am sure that this is a situation that is faced by many.I am just amazed at why it is happening to me. I have been dealing with lung cancer,emphysema,heart attack and two strokes.I never knew anything was even wrong with my kidneys,when this all began. It has been a year now since they first discovered that I lost my right kidney.It is only now,a year later that they are about to get around to saving my only kidney and my life. I am scared,and I feel like running. It is not the operation i...

WISHING YOU A HAPPY HEALTHY NEW YEAR

A new year begins.I was not supposed to be here,again.Almost monthly since 2006 when I was diagnosed with Lung Cancer,I never knew how long I would be here.Now when New Years comes around,I am amazed and very grateful ,that 5 years later I still am. Lung Cancer was the biggest fear.I had already dodged four possibly fatal diseases.I had " cirrhosis " of the liver.and a suspicious breast biopsy,which turned out to be cysts,I had an almost fatal "grand mal " seizure,and I had pre cancer cells on my cervix and underwent laser treatments to prevent the cancer from spreading. Lung Cancer is a lingering problem.I was diagnosed and caught mine early.Lung cancer is usually not found in time for most people,and therefore the low survival rate.Mine was found by luck through another check for emphysema. I have made more scary visits to my oncologist in the last five years than any other doctor.Each time I walk in the office and he reads the x-ray in front of me,I fear the wo...

THE CHOICE TO DIE

I would like to choose how I die.I do not imagine one normally gives much thought to that.After receiving all my death notices from my doctors,I am starting to realise that I am not dealing with too many life choices. I feel like I would like a "Grand Departure". I am on "hold" right now from some real devastating news.The Lung Cancer in my right lung has not returned at this point,Thank God!My emphysema has worsened,and of course with part of my lung removed,my breathing is quite bad.An MRI awaits me and some endoscopy to find and perhaps blast some kidney or bladder stone that have formed.Oh!Lovely. How can I concentrate on living with all this on my mind.So.....I have decided to plan and be prepared to die. As morbid as this sounds,it is my reality.I have already tried "living in the moment".It is impossible.I find myself,lying to myself.How could I sit there on a Monday and plan for Friday? Every time I try to plan,something comes up with my heal...