The Cancer Constant

Welcome back everyone. Today,I will start again,Today I will start again. My life is like the movie "Groundhog Day". Cancer is a constant.The thoughts nag at you continuously.Again and again and again. My lung cancer ,I hope,is at stage T1.It is a non small cell cancer.I was diagnosed six years ago,and am truly blessed to still be here to write this post. I do not have much physical pain from the cancer.I do however cringe a bit remembering the operation.They removed the right lobe of my lung,called a "lobectomy" and left a twelve inch scar.Of course there is not pain under anesthesia,but looking at myself after the operation was scary.I had a tube to drain the blood from my chest and to make sure no clots would form.The tube came out of a hole in my chest about the size of a quarter.My back had twenty-one staples and I looked like Frankenstein.But,I was alive. My scar has since healed wonderfully. I am one of the lucky ones.Cancer kills and cancer kills fast.My lung cancer was only found by chance.I had had a wicked cough for over three months and the doctor decided it was time for a chest xray,to perhaps rule out pneumonia.They found a spot on my lung and then proceeded to CT scan to reveal a 2" tumor.I know a lot of doctors and patients would,and will take antibiotics and not go the extra distance to make sure.My advise would be to check out any cough that lasts a long time. The operation went well.I found the scary part was after. The physical pain is not so bad anymore,with regard to the cancer.I ,of course still have related pain with my emphysema. I do know that there isn't a day,that I don't worry about there being another day. With the latest diagnosis of the loss of my kidney and the very poor only other kidney,I am starting to feel that old familiar feeling. I am going through it again.I am going through it again.I am going through it again. I "Believe" that this will be another journey.I will have challenges,and I pray that I have the strength and courage to move on with grace and dignity. Well,Til next time....Remember DON'T STOP BELIEVING! Believe