HEART full of SOUL

-
"I believe in every drop of rain that falls,A flower grows"

Isn't that just the way it is?
I have been finding a peace within myself as late.
Could this be the"Acceptance"?
I am pretty sure I have been through all the other emotions.
It is kind of chilling to accept ones fate.
Does this mean that I will have to settle?I am not sure if acceptance of my fate with"LUNG CANCER" is as important as trying NOT to accept it.
If I am to live with thoughts of planning my Death,How can I keep planning my Life?
I suppose one must come to a happy medium somewhere along the way.
I will think more of Death,I suppose,when I am in pain and lying in bed.
Right now I hope to enjoy my Life when I am well and able.

I look forward to talking to you again soon.

B.C

{Believe}

Comments

Anonymous said…
hey mom i have read your stuff....sad.love you
3:43 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NEVER GIVE UP "HOPE"

-
  Welcome,my friends. You have been you on my journey of Lung Cancer,for 15 yrs. Thank you for being here. I found a purpose to share the emotional damage of Cancer.I wrote to you,and myself as a therapy,to stay together in my mind. My title is Never give up Hope,but I can honestly say,that many times during my trials and tribulations,I did give up.There were days,months and years,that I felt like "Whats the point?" When the doctors told me my cancer was spreading,in2015,I left my employment,and with that I felt hopeless. Every day now is a blessing! I will not cure my cancer,but I can change my state of mind. I would love to hear from my readers over the years,to know how they are. Please read my other posts to understand where I am at and where I am going til then Dont stop Believing! And never give up HOPE! believe
Read more

THE CHOICE TO DIE

-
I would like to choose how I die.I do not imagine one normally gives much thought to that.After receiving all my death notices from my doctors,I am starting to realise that I am not dealing with too many life choices. I feel like I would like a "Grand Departure". I am on "hold" right now from some real devastating news.The Lung Cancer in my right lung has not returned at this point,Thank God!My emphysema has worsened,and of course with part of my lung removed,my breathing is quite bad.An MRI awaits me and some endoscopy to find and perhaps blast some kidney or bladder stone that have formed.Oh!Lovely. How can I concentrate on living with all this on my mind.So.....I have decided to plan and be prepared to die. As morbid as this sounds,it is my reality.I have already tried "living in the moment".It is impossible.I find myself,lying to myself.How could I sit there on a Monday and plan for Friday? Every time I try to plan,something comes up with my heal
Read more

Moving Forward

-
Welcome back my friends.It is good news that has delayed my posts this time.I have been working/playing a lot lately.I am enjoying my career on a part time basis and loving every minute of it.It helps a little with finances,which have been tough this last year.I have met some wonderful people,been around some great energy and I have felt better the last nine months,(psychologically) than the last six years.I definitely feel that trying to keep busy with ones mind on other activities,plays a big part on dealing with keeping our minds off that which we can not change.I have learned the acceptance part of Lung Cancer,and all my other ailments.I "Believe",I pray ,and I have faith that I will just be given some more time. I have had a few set backs the last couple months.I developed pneumonia and had to go to the hospital a couple of times.I was lucky and with some medicine for my emphysema,and an antibiotic for the pneumonia I was pleased that I did not succumb to total respirat
Read more