I am now starting to accept all the trials I have in front of me.I suppose the not dealing with everything finally has caught up to me.
I found out ,after waiting in fear for four months,that the MRA test I am having on May 25th is Not the operation on the kidneys.I was under the assumption that they were going to put a stent in my renal artery that day.It turns out this is the test to focus on the renal area and determine whether or not to operate.The previous test revealed renal stenosis,enlarged bile duct,and the damaged liver.When they finally make the diagnosis,it will be the time to run and hide or face it.
If I run ,I face kidney failure,or at least having to go on a dialysis machine for the rest of my life.If I have the stent put in the renal artery,I risk complications of infection,that could be fatal.I suppose I am dead if I do and dead if I don't.What a decision,that really is up to me.I hope my doctors will choose the right way,but it is going to ultimately be my decision,isn't it?I will play that hand,when it is dealt.
Further tests with regard to my lung cancer are being planned.I see a doctor for my emphysema soon as well.They are saying I will be going on oxygen,but I still am breathing,and that is good enough for me.I know I can't do too much without getting breathless,but I really don't have too much to do physically anyway. The heat kind of gets me down on some days,but the air conditioning works too.
Yes,that's me.I sure do like side stepping the truth lately.My positive attitude has needed to kick in a lot more of late,but it works.
I think of how fortunate I am.My pain is bearable,I am still living a normal life.I am able to get around without an oxygen tank.
When I was stricken with "Bell's Palsy" in 2000,I suffered a slight defect in the nerves of my upper lip.I have heard of so many others that suffered far more severe effects.My stroke this year has left a few effects on me,but again,not as severe as some and not fatal,like so many strokes are.My lung cancer is still at stage 1.It has been four years.How wonderful is that!
You see,If you see things on the possitive ,it can lift your spirits a lot.
Remember,til next time
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!