RUNNING as FAST as I CAN
Yes,I still have stage 1 "Lung Cancer".The name of this condition is scary in itself.It sure makes you feel like there is no point in trying to move on,when the odds are so against you in this Fatal disease.
I can tell you now,Please do not ever feel that way.
I have spent the last seventeen months thinking I was dying every minute of everyday.What a waste of time.
They say you go through certain stages of grief.
I had the ANGER when I was told I needed an operation to remove the cancerous tumor on my lung.It was at a stage in my life where I finally had time for me.My kids had moved out and my husband had retired.I was mad because it would take time to heal,and I was afraid that I wouldn't.I knew I would have to slow down,and I knew that my spirit had been killed.
I am still in DENIAL,but only when I need to be,to get me through.I have learned that if we" think it so be it".
When I do wake up in the morning and I do not think of death,that is my way of pretending that this is not true.
I guess I figure that they will find a cure for lung cancer before I die.That ,my friends,is denial.
The Acceptance is the finality of all of these other emotions.
It is a hard step to take,and mean it.
I have reached that step,and feel that I can move on now,to living in the moment.
It is hard to accept ones fate.
I see all the facts on lung cancer,I know I will die soon,but I really can deal with this.
I have always been an optimist,and in this case,it surely has paid off.
I do believe my strength to be able to keep a positive attitude has helped me through the bad days.
I still have many roads to follow down this path.
Each step I take along the way teaches me more of what I need to learn.
The doctors will keep on monitoring me for a while yet,and they will find something.I will deal with all that when the time comes.
I will run as fast as I can now though,and let all this try to catch me.
Until next time,Remember
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!