I faced my greatest fear again today.I saw my surgeon about my lung cancer.He,is not the fear,but the xray that holds my latest test result,is.
I have been going to see him every few months for the last fifteen months.I am praying today that he won't want to see me for awhile.I understand that as more time passes the appointments become less often.
I wait to be called and I see the assistant doctor who assesses me and puts the xray into the light.He doesn't look shocked or surprised to see the picture.We continue our assessment,and then he explains a bit about the xray.He tells me that the rib cage is larger on one side.He explains that the result is of the emphysema,or COPD.I have not asked him about the return of the cancer.I will wait til the real doctor walks in.
The moment is here.My doctor looks at the xray as I shake his hand.He says we can make the appointment for six months now.I can almost not swallow.I have been given another CHANCE.The cancer has still not invaded any other surrounding organs or tissue.
He explains that they took my lymph nodes out when they removed the two inch tumor from the right lobe.He said that I am still at stage 1,but that he might have to tell me bad news sometime.He wondered how I would take the news.
I told him that I had rehearsed the scenario many times over in my mind,and that I could take the bad with all the good I have been given.
At least,I think I can.
I have been saved so many times,so many ways in my life.I am now feeling that I am also giving back.
I have learned from this blog and I hope I have helped some of you.I have been able to get through the bad times by writing on here.I have had prayers from all over the world.I believe that all your prayers were received and contributed to my blessings.
I am running on fifteen months of indecision and doubt.I know now that I do not have much choice about my future.I understand the survival rate for this type of cancer to be five years.I hope I can have all of that.
I am able and feeling better since yesterday and shall carry on,I hope for another fifty years.
I hope you keep dropping by,because I love your company.
Til next time....
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!