What Will I Do?
Two more weeks until I see the surgeon.I am sure I have had to go through this at least fifteen times.I am really not complaining,because I know the alternative was Death. You see,I have to have a chest xray every four months to determine if the cancer is spreading from my lung. I practise for the moment.I see myself being told that I have stage 3 or 4 lung cancer.I wonder what will I do? Will I change my life ,or will it change for me? When he tells me,will I cry?Will I scream? I will make promises again to myself,I will sink into my chair in the waiting room,and I will pretend to myself that I am not there. I wonder when they tell me,if I will have to go to chemotherapy,what I would do. If I will only live a little longer,I would be afraid to get so sick from the treatment.I have heard some horror stories from others who are in therapy. We all think we will know when the time comes.I wonder if I will ever "Throw in the Towel? I am still young and I still feel that I have so man...