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Showing posts from June, 2008
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THE WAITING ROOM It is so quiet, you can hear the breaths of others clearly.My heart is missing beats and fluttering.I try to speak to announce my arrival at the clinic,and the receptionist tells me to take a seat.There are many others there.It is a respiratory clinic in "Winnipeg,Manitoba",and I am here to see my surgeon.The room is filled with others much worse off then myself.I see oxygen tanks.I see my future.I will sit here now,and somehow,I will wait til I hear my name called.I am in a moment.I will not have this again. I am handed a form to give to the man who gives xrays.I walk down the hall and I am told to change into a gown,of course,done up in the back,and waist down ,off.I have had an xray by this man before,and I feel comfortable.I forget the importance of this,for a moment.I am so spaced out,that I head for the waiting room in my gown to see my doctor.How embarrassing. My mind goes back to the day of my operation.I see that on the wall of the waiting room is a

ONE MORE CHANCE,AGAIN!

I faced my greatest fear again today.I saw my surgeon about my lung cancer.He,is not the fear,but the xray that holds my latest test result,is. I have been going to see him every few months for the last fifteen months.I am praying today that he won't want to see me for awhile.I understand that as more time passes the appointments become less often. I wait to be called and I see the assistant doctor who assesses me and puts the xray into the light.He doesn't look shocked or surprised to see the picture.We continue our assessment,and then he explains a bit about the xray.He tells me that the rib cage is larger on one side.He explains that the result is of the emphysema,or COPD.I have not asked him about the return of the cancer.I will wait til the real doctor walks in. The moment is here.My doctor looks at the xray as I shake his hand.He says we can make the appointment for six months now.I can almost not swallow.I have been given another CHANCE.The cancer has still not invade